I dreamed eileen died

it is allie. i had a real bad dream last night. i dreamed that i was in a room with one of my abusers. he told me eileen died. he said she was dead and just as he said that i woke up.
i was so scared. i wasnt able to get back to sleep for ages. i just lay there feeling anxious. and freakin out.
i was sure something real bad had happened and eileen was dead. it just felt so real. the dream i mean.
today during therapy i got to talk to eileen. at first before we went on the call i told carol anne that i thought she wasnt gonna be there. i was still thinking about the dream and how real it seemed.
she asked me if i wanted to make a new ending for the dream, she said that is what she does when she has a bad dream.
so we did some EMDR and i completed the dream, with a new ending.
i wanted to end it with us together, me and her, in her office, sitting beside one another, and holding hands.
and i decided my abuser was gonna shrink, get smaller and smaller until he was a dot, and then he just disappeared completely.
it felt so good to finish it in the way i wanted.
allie, age 9

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

2 thoughts on “I dreamed eileen died”

  1. Glad that you were able to transcend the dream into pleasant one from bad one

    I would gladly give you 5 ft of snow we have more than enough to go around lol

    I love the cold always have and my body loves it too

    Luas dia I do thruas Carol Anne

    Alex

    Liked by 1 person

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