Dealing with transference and anger!

Last week, eileen and I had a phone check in. It didnt go to plan.
We were talking about the weekend, and about trying to get through it without being triggered, and I was saying I hoped we’d manage on our own.
Eileen said some things that made some of the teen insiders defensive and angry.
She acted like it was no big deal, she kept saying we’d manage, and giving us ways to manage, but it felt dismissive, and like she was minimising things.
It left the teens feeling very mad at her!
We ended the call feeling unheard, invalidated, and unseen.
When we ended the call I was like, this is not my therapist. This is not how she acts. I was stunned!
I was actually going to phone her back, because I thought it was so weird, and I really thought, what is wrong with eileen!
Fast forward to monday morning, we had our normal session, but some of the teens were still very mad at her. So we talked about it.
She told us that she’d had a bit of a reaction to us telling her we’d be alone for the weekend, she said it made her feel powerless, and helpless to help us.
She said all she wanted to do was help us so we wouldnt feel so triggered.
“I wanted to gather the troops”, She said.
You were on my mind after the call as I knew I’d handled it wrong.
I told her I was going to call her back after we hung up because of how she just wasnt herself.
“Maybe you should have”, She said.
I was glad she was honest with me about how not being able to do much to help us made her feel. I appreciated her honesty.
So did the teens, and they soon calmed down.
Eileen apologised for the way she handled things, and we accepted her apology, I know she would never want to hurt our feelings, or make us feel like our problems didnt matter to her.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland. View all posts by Carol anne