Exhausted

I am so exhausted. But I cant sleep. I only slept for 3.5 hours last night. From 9 PM until 12:30. After that I couldnt sleep. I stayed up for the rest of the night.
I spoke to my CPN Sarah today. We were talking a lot about sleep and my lack of it. We also talked about my meds. I’ve had an increase in my zyprexa this week, since the voices I was hearing are still very much there.
I’m now taking 15 mg of zyprexa, as well as 10 mg of haldol, and 7.5 mg of zopiclone at night.
With that med cocktail, I should be out like a light. But nope. I’m not. It would seem nothing knocks me out. I dont sleep until I’m literally so tired that my body literally cant stay awake any longer.
The voices are loud right now. They are saying some really mean things. I am trying to keep myself distracted, so I dont have to deal with them. I feel depressed tonight also. My mood is quite flat and I am feeling very down.
Just another day in Carol annes world, wanna come live here?
No, I didnt think so!

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

28 thoughts on “Exhausted”

  2. Much of the voices that were in my head was when I was in secondary school and college. I don’t get the voices anymore, by continuously doing a couple specific things.

    One voice in comparison to voice(s), would come here and there. But for the most part my mind is pretty quiet now.

    So I know exactly how you feel, I’ve never been on medication though.

    But at some point I may blog about the voices in our heads, maybe in the form of poetry or otherwise.

    I enjoyed reading this, you explained how you felt. You got most of it off your chest, and that is perfect. Baby steps.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. Thank you for your reply. And yeah, I am happy about that too to be honest. You sound a little better than you were before, if my intuition is correct. Sending you peace love, patience and happiness where you need it most 💙

        Liked by 1 person

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