6 AM ramble

Its just turned 6 AM! I’ve been up since 2:45. I am determined to stay up now until tonight, and go to bed at a relatively decent hour, so that I might sleep at a normal time.
My PA Frances is due to come at 9 today. I am looking forward to seeing her. I feel like she’ll be a bit of a distraction for me from my head, which is totally fucked up at the moment.
I might give my CPN sarah a call today…I thought she might have called me yesterday but she didnt. I know the weekend team left notes on how I was doing, and she would have seen that I am still experiencing cramps in my legs from the xyprexa!
She told me last week she’d call dr. barry and tell her that I am having adverse side effects from xyprexa. Not sure what Dr. Barry will prescribe me or if she will prescribe me anything else.
I’m so anxious right now. I took a shower hoping that might help my anxiety. It did a little bit. But I am still very anxious and I just feel low, flat, like bla bla bla this low mood fucking sucks.
I’m ready for all this to be over!
But I’m staying out of the hospital, so go me or something!
I’m so unstable though. A lot happened during yesterdays therapy session, I am still processing it all. Eileen is such a calming influence on me. Her soothing voice, her wisdom, her calm exterior, it all helps me feel calm. If only I could have her on tap 24 hours a day!
Well I shall end this here and go read! If I can concentrate that is!

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “6 AM ramble”

  1. I envy you your awesome psych care team. It sounds awesome. Hopefully the Zyprexa thing can get sorted,side effects can actually make us more unstable because we feel so powerless to change it.

    I am not sleeping more than 90 minutes at a time these days so if you ever want to jabber during a sleepless jaunt…email me. We gotta be there for each other.

    Liked by 1 person

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