My smear test

Tw talking about smear test, procedure, and what happened at the doctors office.
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So I got my smear done and it went ok. I did get super triggered though.
The nurse who did it her name was claire, she was kind, compassionate, and gentle. She also did the last one I had done last year.
I was very nervous going in to her but I told her I was nervous and she understood. My mom came into the nurses office with me
First of all we completed some paperwork.
When it was time to actually have the exam I just was trying to be as brave as I could.
The nurse tried to do the test but at first she wasnt able to do it. I was relaxed, but she couldnt get the speculum in at the correct angle. She told me if it hurt she’d stop. Every time she put the speculum in and put pressure on it hurt. She tried to do it four times, and she was just about to give up when she decided that she’d put her finger in to my cervix and see if she could try to get the correct position so she’d know when she put the speculum in what she was doing.
When she said she was going to insert her finger, I started freaking out, inwardly, not outwardly.
I was super triggered, and I felt very vulnerable.
But I said nothing, and I just let her do it. She told me to slide down on the couch a little further, and when I did it all worked out fine, and she was able to get the swab and it didnt hurt at all. I was so relieved when it was done and over with.
I bled a tiny bit but she said that was normal. She said I should have my results within four to six weeks from today.
When I got home I had my mom look again and there was no blood, so I was glad about that. The nurse did say when the smear was done that everything looked fine, so I am hopeful that the results will all come back clear.
At least its done now though. Hopefully that’ll be it for a while.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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