The winter solstace is a Triggery date

Today the 21st of December is the winter solstace, and it is a huge trigger for us. As we were abused in a cult for many years, today really sends us into a tailspin.
We are trying our best, but its hard.
We’re finding things really tough. We feel so overwhelmed, and its hard to get grounded.
I’ve been hallucinating, and I think I’m having a bit of psychotic thinking.
I’m trying to gather my thoughts, but I keep having weird thoughts, far fetched ones, and they are kinda like dilusions.
I hope I wont go into a full blown psychotic episode.
The hallucinations are pretty awful. We are hallucinating bugs crawling on us, and since part of our abuse memories were being tortured and things like spiders used in the torture, its no wonder I am having these hallucinations.
I hope I can make it through today. I’ve been crying a lot and unable to really cope well with the day so far.
I havent even been able to sleep either.
Its about 2 AM now and I havent slept.
Please if you can, send me some positive juju and mojo!

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland. View all posts by Carol anne