THERAPY: FUCK THAT SHIT!

I’VE BEEN THINKING. AND HERES WHAT I THINK.
THERAPY IS ALL BUILT ON LIES. EILEEN GETS PAYED TO TELL ME NICE THINGS. SHE GETS PAYED TO CARE. BUT WOULD SHE CARE IF SHE WASNT GETTING PAYED? I DONT THINK SO!
I HATE THERAPY. I HATE HOW IT MAKES ME FEEL. I HATE TALKING AND I HATE HOW EILEEN IS ONLY OURS FOR 1.5 HOURS A WEEK! YEAH WE CAN CONTACT HER IN BETWEEN, BUT WELL, CAROL ANNE DOESNT REALLY LET US!
SHE THINKS WE’LL BE BOTHERING HER!
DO YA THINK I SHOULD TELL EILEEN THAT I THINK THERAPY IS ALL LIES?
WONDER WHAT SHED SAY TO ME AND TO THAT?
SHE COULD HATE ME, AND SHED STILL SAY SHE LIKES ME!
THATS HOW SHE IS!
SHE SAYS WE’RE ALL WELCOME, BUT THAT JUST MAKES SOME OF US MORE MAD!
MAYBE WE DONT WANNA TALK! MAYBE WE HATE SHRINKY THERAPY AND THERAPISTS.
MAYBE THERAPY MAKES ME FEEL BAD! ACTUALLY, YEP, IT DOES!
SO FUCK IT! FUCK THAT SHIT!
LINDY IM 14

Author: Carol anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

24 thoughts on “THERAPY: FUCK THAT SHIT!”

  1. I don’t think you’re suppose to feel good at therapy. Therapy is about confronting difficult emotions/ establishing a better working relationship with them. It’s not about feeling good while you’re there. Quite the opposite. It’s meant to be uncomfortable. Like going to the dentist. Still i think it’s advisable – especially for your longer term health. I do agree that there is such a thing as the wrong therapist. But my advice is find a new one. Not to drop therapy altogether. There are many excellent therapists who are doing their jobs because they believe in it and because they want to help others. My 2 cents worth. Wishing you all the best on your journey, AP2

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We won’t be finding a new therapist, the one we had was awesome, Lindy was just feeling bad this morning and she took it out on a therapist as she often does she is a young insider and so she doesn’t think before she acts they talked about it today though and all is good again

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Lindy, your anger and mistrust are all very valid. But if Eileen was only doing this for money, you would be able to tell. We survivors are very attuned and can smell when people are being fake. Eileen isn’t being fake, is she?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Lindy, you need to be mad at the right person. It isn’t Eileen’s fault that when you talk to her it makes you feel bad, itis the fault of your abhuser who has given you bad memories that need to be brought out. Caring about someone isn’t something you can be paid to do. Given the complexity of your system, if Eileen didn’t genuinely care she could have decided to throw up her hands in defeat years ago and pass you to another therapist. She hasn’t done that and I think that’s wonderful. As I recall one of the other dark alters challenged Eileen with not really caring, so there is probably nothing she hasn’t heard from either your system or her other patients. I hope you continue to communicate with Eileen and write her whenever you need to. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I talked to her today and we discussed everything and she understood how I felt and was very compassionate which really helped so now I am beginning to trust her a little bit more and I do believe she cares about me ☺️

      Like

  4. The most important thing is being able to correlate with that person

    If there is no connection it won’t work as there is no foundation to build trust.

    Also therapy works for some and others in very counter intuitive in my case I do not do well opening up to others especially those where I have no confidence or trust.

    A lot find me very intimidating and fearsome because I am not your garden variety case very complex .

    I have told Therapist in the past try to influence me into doing things or taking pills to Toss off and go fuck themselves.

    Trust is not something I hand out freely but through my blog and knowing I am not alone in this constant wage with Roller Coaster Affect goes a long way.

    Being able to write and say the things I needed in the manner I need to do it is very Raw and will never apologised for Venom in them.

    https://evolutionofselffeedyourhunger.wordpress.com/2020/09/07/the-kryptonite-of-lies-hero/

    Those that stand by me and continue to support means a lot I am grateful

    luas dia I do thruas

    Alex

    Like

  5. My story is not one of positive elevation

    Many have walked the depths of Hell and fucking flith I was subjected too many, many never …ever get fucking chance to even their stories heard let alone shared.

    Many become shattered fragments of what use to resemble a Life full of ambitions and desire now are just empty memories of wicked deeds locked away in Pandora’s sadistic Box !!!

    The most surreal aspects of My Story are a testament to that pure evil does exist

    It is a lot to take in and for some, it’s too much for you or makes you uncomfortable I understand but also understand that many have walked in my shoes don’t get resurrected through the dips in the fire and are consumed by it.

    https://evolutionofselffeedyourhunger.wordpress.com/2019/11/28/my-story/

    I will share this with you

    ” You are never outta the fight unless you want to be no matter how many dips into the fire you are thrashed into” Become the Sword of Precision.

    luas dia I do thruas

    Alex

    Like

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