Just saw dr. barry. it was a great apt. i told her everything. we talked about a lot, too much to go into here. but basically, I told her how much we are struggling at the moment with anxiety, with depression, dissociation, and switching. She asked me do I know why its so bad at the moment, is there a trigger? I said I dont exactly know why, but I am just stressed about a lot of different things. We talked about the colposcopy, I told her I am now waiting on results of the biopsy. She was very reassuring, and she told me the most common abnormalities are leesions on the cervix, which is due to errosion. That was reassuring to hear. Maybe mine are just that and nothing more sinister. We talked about Eileen being sick, and she said she would be able to offer me extra support while eileen is out sick, I didnt even have to ask her, she just offered it to me. Thats how awesome she is. She’s bringing me back next Monday for a visit. I am so glad. Since Sunday is a ritual date, with it being the summer solstace. I am so nervous about the solstace, I will be going home to my own house on sunday, so I hope we’ll be ok, and manage to get through somehow. Knowing we’ll see Dr. Barry on Monday morning is going to be really helpful in managing the distress. Also we’ll use our group and blog for extra support. In the meantime, to help with the immediate anxiety symptoms, dr. barry gave me a weeks supply of xanax. Thats really unusual for her to prescribe that drug, normally she won’t prescribe benzos, but she said as long as we dont misuse it, and we wont, she’s happy to prescribe it to us. We dont have a dependency problem either, so that also stood to us and is another reason why she was able to prescribe it. So I’ll pick up the prescription tomorrow. I can take it up to 3 times a day, but I probably wont. But knowing I can if I need to is helpful. I’m going to be taking 0.25 mg 3 times a day. She will also be increasing our prozac over the next few weeks, we’re on 40 MG at the moment but we’ll be going up to 60 mg over the coming weeks. I feel it was a good appointment and now we have a plan for the next couple of weeks, I just hope we’ll be ok, manage the distress and that we wont end up in the hospital. I really hope we dont end up there. We could if we arent careful.