She’s a gem!

Eileen just called us. We talked and now I feel much better. I feel much calmer.
I was super anxious, and triggered, since I got the news earlier today about the calcoscopy.
I really, really dont wanna do this but I have too, I dont have a choice.
Eileen reassured me that the nurses and doctors are very professional, and that they are very experienced, and used to dealing with all sorta issues and challenges.
She encouraged me to tell them that I’ve had some bad experiences in my past, and that I am very nervous, she said I dont need to go into specifics, that I can just say it in generalised terms, so thats what I think I’ll do!
She said next week in our session we’d make a plan for whose going to come out and be out when we have the test.
She reassured us that its different now, we are safe, nobody is going to hurt us, they will be very respectful, and treat us with respect and they wont want to unduely cause us any stress.
I believe her. She used to be a nurse, before she became a therapist, she knows what she’s talking about.
She told me to put the test out of my head for now, and for me not to spend the next 2 weeks being anxious and upset and feeling so triggered that its effecting me physically and emotionally. She said, wouldnt it be awful if you spent the next 2 weeks, going through the what ifs in your head, worrying about it? I agreed. It would be tragic if I did that.
So for now I’m done worrying. I’ll just remember her words, and put the test out of my head. I will ring the clinic in the morning, and tell them I am blind, and ask if my mom can come in to the room while I am having the test done. Then when I see the consultant I shall say to her that I have gone through some things in my past, and that I am nervous and hope she’ll be understanding.
Thank god for Eileen! She’s my rock! What would I do without her calming reassurance, I’d definitely be an emotional wreck for the next 2 weeks! I am so, so blessed to have her!

Author: Carol anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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