I am having a kolkoskopy and I’m dreading it

trigger talk of internal examination and medical procedure
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I got a letter this morning in the post.
I have to go to the kolkoskopy clinic on june 15th to have a kolkoskopy done. I am soooo nervous. I am actually dreading it. My mom said she’d go with me. But she may not be able to actually come in the room for the consultation, because of social distancing.
I am not sure how this is going to go. The dr. doesnt know my history, I’ve actually never met this doctor, but it is a lady doctor thank god for that much.
I’ve already talked with Dr. Barry about the procedure, and she said the kolkoskopy is where they put a camera up into your cervix and have a look around, but you are awake for the whole procedure.
The reason I have to have this done, is because, at my last smear test, after the test I bled a little bit. So they want to check me out, and see why that is.
I really hope it wont hurt too much. I am really afraid of how triggered I am going to become by this.
I should probably call Eileen, think I will do that later on this afternoon.
I wish I got the letter closer to the day I had to go in, because, now I have 2 weeks to get all worked up and anxious, I dont even have a PRN med to take on the morning of the procedure. At least I am having a phone consult with Dr. Barry this week, I can go through things again with her then, and hopefully she can reassure me a little bit.
Has anyone ever had a kolkoskopy done? If you have was it painful?
I think I am going to dissociate badly during it and be so anxious that I might throw up.
Could really use some hugs and support right about now.

Author: Carol anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

16 thoughts on “I am having a kolkoskopy and I’m dreading it”

  1. Hi I am sorry for you. For me medical procedures is the WORST I can go through. The last time I had to do something was before Corona and after it I fainted. Not all the doctors want to take off their white skirts or dresses but those TRIGGER me so badly it is beyond imagination. I have to go to the hospital next Thursday because of my tummy and to get everything checked I dread it too so I know a little bit how you must feel. I am trying to get as many “insiders” to their safe places sometimes it helps sometimes it doesnt but I will need to do at least something. Wish you all the luck …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Carol Anne, I never had a colcoscopy done but several ultrasounds from the inside of my womb. It was a little uncomfortable but did not hurt at all. They explain everything they are doing while they are doing it and are very careful not to hurt you. Is there any chance you could let the new doctor know about your history? I don’t know if you want her to know but that might help. But I am sure Eileen or Dr Barry can help you find a way so its less stressful for you. Sending hugs πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Remember, prevention is always better than cure! It’s easy to say “Don’t worry!” Of course, you’ll worry. But try to discuss it with your GP so that you can view this procedure more objectively. Sending hugs and supportive thoughts your way.

    Liked by 1 person

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