A bit of a mental health post

I didnt sleep hardly at all. If I got 2 hours it was a lot. And that was broken sleep. I just couldnt sleep. First off it was too damn hot to sleep. My bedroom in my parents house is roasting, I even left my window open, but that did nothing, I couldnt feel any air coming in. I just played on my computer, read a book, watched netflix, and during the night I got up to find something to nibble on. I tried to do it quietly as I didnt wanna wake my parents up. The night was neverending. I was feeling so anxious, my head felt strange too. My anxiety reached a peak at around 4 AM. I thought I was coming unglued. I was jumping at every little sound and it felt as if I was going to come out of my skin. It is a horrible feeling. I tried everything and eventually I nodded off, I was even debating taking some extra clonadine, I had no fenergan here to take, thats what I usually take when I am not sleeping good. If I had some I’d have taken it. I woke with a start at 6:45, and got up then as I was anxious again so needed to get a cup of tea in to me. My dad was up by then, I had a cup of tea, got a shower, and now I feel more human again. I am heading back home to my own house this afternoon, at least the sun is shining, its another beautiful day here today. It makes me happy. I love to see the shining, feel its warmth on my skin. It makes me feel good. I wish I had something for the anxiety, my clonadine is only for night time, and I only take 1 MG, we havent increased it yet because of coronavirus, Dr. Barry didnt want to mess with my meds over the phone. I hope I can go in to see her soon, the travel restrictions here are being lifted on June 8th, we can now go 20 kilometres from our house, which well I am not sure how many miles that is, but its enough that I might get to go see Dr. Barry and Eileen face to face. I hope I can. Ok off to have breakfast now.

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Author: Carol anne

I am in my mid 40's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland. View all posts by Carol anne