FROM LIZ, IN A BIT OF A MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS!

WE ARE IN A MAJOR MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS! I AM IN SO MUCH TURMOIL! I STARTED FREAKING OUT EARLIER, AND I CANT CALM DOWN. I AM SOOO ANXIOUS. I HAVE HAD MEMORIES AND FLASHBACKS GOING ON FOR HOURS NOW. WE’VE BEEN SWITCHING LIKE CRAZY, I’VE JUST COME OUT LONG ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN TO WRITE THIS NOW. BEFORE THIS KIDS WERE ALL CRYING AND FREAKING OUT, TRIGGERFEST, WHAT A FUCKING MESS! WE ARE HAVING URGES TO SELF HARM, AND FEELING LIKE WE SHOULD JUST END IT. WE FEEL SO SO UNWELL AND VERY UNSTABLE. THINK I SHOULD TEXT EILEEN BUT DUNNO IF I CAN? AFRAID TO? JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA BOTHER HER? LIKE CAUSE WE ONLY SAW HER YANNO TODAY? AND MAYBE SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE BOTHERED? I NEED TO PUT MY FEARS ASIDE AND JUST TEXT HER! OMG GUYS I AM IN SUCH A MESS. I’M LITERALLY SHAKING FROM HEAD TO TOE! I CANT EVEN PUT WORDS TO THE MEMORIES. THEY’RE ALL JUMBLED SNIPPETS, NOTHINGS CLEAR. ALL I GET ARE GLIMPSES, BUT WHEN I TRY TO PIECE IT TOGETHER I CANT. MY ANXIETYS THROUGH THE ROOF! I AM SO, SO ANXIOUS. I AM ANCI AND JITTERY, AND CANT SIT STILL FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES! HELP SOMEONE HELP ANYONE I NEED SOMEONE! I AM NOT OK!
LIZ

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

22 thoughts on “FROM LIZ, IN A BIT OF A MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS!”

  1. Hi Liz this is terrible is there anyone inside who could help you through? It WILL get better one day I know but it needs patience and strenght you ALL are very strong and curageous tske heart you are NOT allone.

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  2. You are indeed really brave, Liz. I’m sending you a big hug and good thoughts. Will be thinking of you tonight, hope you can sleep, maybe that will help somewhat. Hope you or others can reach out to Eileen when you need it.

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    1. I DIDNT TEXT HER LAST NIGHT, I WENT TO BED INSTEAD, AND SLEPT. I’LL TEXT HER THIS MORNING TO UPDATE HER, I KNOW SHE’LL BE PROUD OF US FOR GETTING THROUGH IT ON OUR OWN, I ALSO WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR SAYING I AM BRAVE, I APPRECIATE THAT. HUGS!

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