So this morning I got another call from a nurse on the weekend team. This nurse is one of the community psychiatric nurses so I knew her. Her name is Gillian and she is very very nice. She was very understanind about how bad things are for me at the moment. We talked through my symptoms, and she talked me through some coping strategies, and she told me that if I needed them throughout the day that I shouldnt hesitate to phone them, that they’d be there until 5 PmM, and after that, she advised me to go to the psych hospital to be seen, but I told her I was seeing Dr. Barry tomorrow and that I can wait until then. I knew I’d be ok until I saw her. So we hung up on the understanding that if I needed them again I’d phone. I had dinner at mom and dads, then I left and went home. Mom came with me for a little while, and once she left, I took some fenergan and lay down and slept for a few hours. It was bliss. The fenergan really knocks me out, but I think thats what I needed. I needed to get some good, uninterrupted sleep. And that is what I got. I didnt care that it was in the day, it doesnt matter to me if I am up tonight. Actually I kinda like being up at night. Nights are when we’re triggered, and I feel safer being up and awake sometimes, I dont know why but I do. I’m glad I had some uninterrupted sleep, it reset my brain again and now I am feeling ok, although the bad anxiety is still there, along with the dissociation and time loss and switchiness. But I’m happy to report that I’ve taken our meds now all of them for one whole week, and I am super proud, I havent missed a single dose. Yay. Thats good going as before I was missing 2 or 3 nights each week and I’d sometimes miss doses in the morning also. I’m determined to keep remembering them as I feel they are helping and I need them and need to be taking them properly. I’ve made some tea and my plan now is to watch a little TV and then finish up my book tonight also. I see Dr. Barry in the morning. I’m looking forward to seeing her. Then in the afternoon I meet with my new job coach. I’m pretty nervous about it as I will have to go into my history a lot and I will have to disclose my mental illnesses to him so that he’s able to best help me and support me in going back to work. I dont mind having to do it but I am just a little nervous about it. I hope the anxiety doesnt ramp up a lot during the night tonight, but we’ll see, my guess is it will as it always does or seems to do.