Triggered! dark thoughts!

Its Misty. I am feeling very emotional. I am really triggered!

I feel so depressed. My thoughts are dark and I feel suicidal!

I texted Eileen and am waiting for her to respond! I feel like I need her. I need her calm voice to reassure me we can make it through this hard time!

We are also at our parents house now. We had to come here since we felt unsafe. We felt like hurting ourselves. We’ve made an agreement with Eileen that we wont do anything to harm ourselves. So this was the next best thing for us to do!

Everything just feels so awful! I dont know what to do!

My mood is so so low! I just feel like I shouldnt be here. I shouldnt exist. I know its what my abusers told me. I feel so lost! So lost and alone!

I hope eileen texts me soon, cuz I am not ok!
Misty age 15

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

40 thoughts on “Triggered! dark thoughts!”

  1. I hope you feel better soon misty.And Eileen gets in touch with u soon misty.Hang in there and remember u r strong and u wont let them win.When I feel low I take a deep breath and look at myself in the mirror and say u can do it coz u r the best.
    U have to do it for people who love u and not let those devils cause more damage then they already have.
    Sending lots and lots of love and best wishes dear.Tc

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  2. My dear, you are precious to God and you are here on this earth for a purpose. Please hold on for Misty’s call. God loves you and we, all your friends love you and we want the very best for you. You are of great value and we are here praying and rooting for you. Keep us updated, feel free to talk to us as much as you need to.

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  3. Hi, Misty, first of all, thank you for sharing your feelings with us. You know, you are not alone. We are all with you and feeling with you. I had such feelings too. Sometimes life can simply feel overwhelming and we don’t even know why. But then it is important to remember that you already experienced that this changes again and the light comes back. The clouds are only temporary and they will pass again. And even if you cannot see it the sun is already there just waiting for its appearance. Much love to you, Misty 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think you are amazing. It takes so much energy to keep dark thoughts under control and to reach out but you manage both. You can be very proud of yourself. This too shall pass. Sending you a gentle hug 😚🙋‍♀️🐝

    Liked by 1 person

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