its krista. in case you all don’t remember, i’m 11 years old.
right now I feel so so bad. my head hurts so much.
ive been out for a while, and I am trying not to go on the internet, and go into chatrooms. I know I shouldn’t do it. I really wish I didn’t think about sex so much.
I really don’t want to think about it. but it happens. I do. I feel so ashamed. I feel terrible and so bad about myself!
why cant I feel good about my body? why do I hate it so much?
I didn’t ask to be hurt! men hurt me and I didn’t want it!
but they didn’t care! they didn’t care how I felt or what happened to me!
they just wanted to do what they were doing and it didn’t matter how I felt.
it hurts! I am feeling so much shame about what they did!
I also feel ashamed about the fact that I still let people do things to me sexually even if its just on the internet!
why cant I be more like my twin kira! she would never talk about sex or do sexual stuff with anyone!
Eileen said kira had me to protect her and she depended on me and I was the one who was outspoken and kira wasn’t and so now she’s shy and timid and afraid and I am not and she said how it was very creative for us to split like we did!
I am so glad I will see Eileen tomorrow!
I need to talk to her so bad!
right now I am going to try to do something other than go in a chatroom! maybe I can find a good tv show or listen to some music!
is anyone around? if you are maybe you’d leave me a nice comment!
thanks guys! ❤ ❤
krista age 11