Could hav been

i could have been beautiful
but you spattered me with blood
i might have been graceful
but you knocked me into the mud

i could have been courageous
but you crumpled me into a ball
i might have been brave
but you made me feel so small

i could have been intelegent
but you taught me not to try
i might have been brilliant
but you told me the truth is a lie

i could have been trusting
but your promises lay broken
i might have been confiding
but you taught me to leave everything unspoken

i could have been independent
but you left so many needs unfilled
i might of been self-reliant
but you made it so i couldn’t rebuild

i could have been whole
but you tore me all apart
i might have been so much more
but you destroyed my growing heart

c2006

This is a poem about my experiences of being a child abuse survivor, this was written to my abusers.

Author: Carol anne

I am in my mid 40's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

26 thoughts on “Could hav been”

      1. Will be really happy to see that happen if it does. I have done it but not formally. Sold some of them for my Lymphoma Association which was the cancer I had. Good luck to you Carol Anne if you do it xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh cool, that’s really awesome that you manage to sell some to the charity that supported you through your cancer. I think I will at some point. Not there yet though no confidence in myself

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh Carol Anne, I am so sorry that you have no confudence in yoyrself. I understand though. You have done so much to help me understand about yoyr DID and other issues. I knew a but but I know so much more now. Keep going. Keep writing in here. No one is judgemental on WP. We are all in this together, all with our different issues, problems and lufe circumstances. Thankyou for helping ME to understand Carol Anne. You are l lovely xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

  8. You present a sobering reminder that there is more than one side to a victim, dealing with repercussions that can last a lifetime. Kudos to your strength in writing this.

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  9. I love your poem! It speaks to my heart, as I too am an abuse survivor. I applaud your courage in speaking out, and I encourage you to keep on speaking out, because the world needs to hear your voice. It needs to hear the voice of every abuse survivor with the courage to speak and not remain silent.

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