Depressed, and feeling really off

I’ve been super depressed all day yesterday and today. I had such a fantastic day out with mom on saturday, so I am not sure what happened, except I think I was already depressed from last week and it just reared its ugly head again yesterday.
I spent all day yesterday in bed. I couldnt get up. I couldnt face anyone. Or do anything. It was awful. I did get up to eat, I got up and ate breakfast, went online for about an hour, but then just layed back down and slept. It was like I just had no energy to do anything.
I eventually got up at 6:30. Spent a few hours online and watching tv and reading.
I still feel crappy this morning. We have therapy in an hour. Thank god for Eileen. We badly need therapy today. We need to talk. We need to try to figure this out.
I hope we can. I hope when we get there we dont dissociate. We did dissociate pretty badly during our session last week, and I hope there wont be a repeat of it this week.
I’m hoping Eileen has some advice for us. We could use it right now. I really feel so bla and I want this depression to go away. And quickly.

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

15 thoughts on “Depressed, and feeling really off”

  1. Hugs. I really hope you will feel better soon, hopefully Eileen will help. I’m glad that you could at least sleep yesterday. Maybe not the best idea to sleep through all day, but when you’re depressed and feel only like switching off your brain, it’s good when you can get some sleep and escape from the reality for a while. I feel quite blah too at the moment so you’re not alone, but remember that you won’t always feel this way, it won’t be always this awful.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope your depression lifts quickly. It is such a disappointing and painful feeling when it returns and there seems to be no rhyme or reason for it. How can we fight or help ourselves when we do not understand why we are so low. We do not think depressing thoughts or wallow in self-pity; so why are we so suddenly so sad and despairing? It is so hard to be patient with ourselves. We go to therapy regularly. We take our medications. We remind ourselves that we are safe now and count our blessings. It is important to not blame or condemn ourselves when we sink into the pit. It is not because we are weak. It is just part of the trial of living after severe abuse. It is so confusing since we do not know sometimes if it is the past rearing up it’s head or something in the present perhaps affecting us badly because of the past. What can we do? We can be kind to ourselves, and also seek out people who understand and care about us. Isolation only perpetuates feelings from the past when we felt that there was no one to help us. Glad you will be seeing Eileen.

    Liked by 1 person

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