She has a secret!

And I dont like it! I dont like secrets!

She wouldnt tell us where she’s going next week for her conference on EMDR! She said we dont need to worry about where it is going to be on at!

But we do worry! We wanna know she’s ok and safe!

We arent trying to be nosey in asking!

I dont like having secrets! They are triggering to me!

So I emailed her. Here is what I said.

how come you didnt want to tell us where you’ll be next week, where the conference is at?
are you worried we’ll do something bad with the information?
we just wanted to know you are going to be ok!
we worry about you when your not nearby. we werent trying to be nosey when we asked.
we dont like secrets. its triggering to us.
chance and some of the teens

I hope she’ll get back to me! Even if she still wont tell me, I want her to know that acting like its some huge secret is a huge trigger for us.


Author: Carol anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

10 thoughts on “She has a secret!”

  1. Hi I dont like it when I do not know where my therapist is going when he is away. My problem is though that I AM nosy because I am interested in what he is learning and teaching about. I feel abandoned and lonely when he is away but I suppose those are the stupid bonding problems we have. My therapist has reduced my therapy sessions from two a week to one a week which I can barely cope with. I think I was too old when I first started therapy and now we are not getting anywhere. Another problem is that I found out his birthday but he did not like this AT ALL. He says that I am violating his boundaries problem is that mine have been violated over a long time so I simply dont FEEL where they are. I am angry disappointed and all the rest. I wish I could start from the beginning and find a better way. I HATE THERAPY BRAKES. Wish you good look with yours. It is ages since we did EMDR even though I think it is the BEST THING you can do.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Chance I understand secrets must be triggering for you. I hope Eileen will tell you that if she can and that she’ll be understanding. It must be unsettling for all of you when you’re so attached to her.


  3. I know that feeling oh so very well. I also like to know where T goes. It’s not because I’m going to follow him or call where he’s staying, or put a GPS on him or anything like that. I like to be able to find him on a map and then I can see where he is (generally) and somehow that makes things better.
    If I remember to ask, he usually tells me and then wants to know if it’s too far. Sometimes it feels like it, sometimes it’s not so bad.
    One time he told me he was going on a cruise, but he never said what type (Mediterranean, Alaskan etc.) There’s a lot of ocean on the planet and I wasn’t sure which one he was on, so it felt like he just up and disappeared on me.
    Therapy breaks are the absolute worst, no matter how long.
    I hope this break goes fast for you.
    Sending big hugs….xx


  4. But a therapist is a person with a whole separate life from their office and patients. They need to have breaks too and to know they can safely get away with boundaries in place where they can relax with their family/friends for a vacation. Maybe she is taking a vacation along with the conference or meeting a boyfriend in a nearby city or a different city or who knows? It’s not really any of her patients’ business, is it?

    Perhaps someone becomes a therapist because they too were once abused. This could be what makes them so caring and empathetic. But they also need to practice self-care in order to stay healthy for their patients.


    1. No she’s going to a conference! She told me where she’ll be! I didnt need exacts, just a location, and she gave me that! So all is ok! Plus she’s married! I’ve met her husband! She apologised to us all is good!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I hope eileen responds to you but I don’t think it’s necessary that you know where she is. she wouldn’t go anywhere where she wouldn’t feel safe, which is not something I can be altogether sure about you and the other darks. You guys don’t seem to be able to keep the most important secret from your abuser, which is that of your location. also, it may not be just you; she may have other patients who really don’t need to know where she’s going because one of them might actually try to go to _her location. Eileen has proven herself immensely trustworthy over the years and so if she says you don’t need to know, then it’s absolutely fine that you don’t. Perhaps you and Eileen can explore just why secrets are so triggering the next time you get together. xxx


    1. She told us! She said it was not her intention to keep it from us! We had the conversation at the last minute so that is why! Plus she was trying to save us from worrying as she knows we always do that!


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