This is chance, therapy this past week

my name is chance. im 13. i wanted to talk about therapy this past week. on monday we went. it started out with willow talking, willow told eileen that some of the dark kids in our system were struggling, me and my two buddies anna and astra were struggling a lot over the weekend. i get angry a lot. im angry at everything and everyone. especially at our abusers. i want to do something really bad to them well if i could i would. i dont really care about anyone or anything. im just angry all of the time. its tiring though being so angry so much. plus everyone is scared of me. i only have anna and astra to keep me company. they get angry too. we’re all 13 the 3 of us are 13. so eileen was nice about it, she said we had a right to feel anger. she welcomed it. willow told her that i wanted to email her but she wouldnt let me because she didnt want me to say harsh things in the email to eileen. eileen said she shouldnt try to sensor me. that it would be ok if i emailed her. that its ok if i am angry in the email. willow still wasnt sure. she didnt want to upset eileen. eileen kept telling her not to worry, that she could handle it. then i decided im going to talk to eileen. i just felt like she’d get it. she’d understand. so i did. and it was great. she’s really cool. she talked to me about my anger. and about the abusers being such assholes. about how they hurt us and how that was so wrong. so that was nice. she had me pick out stones to represent my anger and other feelings. that was kinda weird but I did it anyway. it was only weird because i’d never done anything like that. but when i did, i was able to feel calmer. she told me i can email her or text her if i need to this week. she said if I text she’ll respond to it and we can talk. i havent texted her yet, but i know if I need to I can. that feels good, grounding, like she’ll be there, maybe on friday we can text her, since fridays a tough day for us with the summer solstace, maybe she can talk to us then. i did email her though already since monday. i felt like it was a good session. and i am glad i talked to her. she’s pretty cool. i like her. its hard for me to admit that. but the fact she offered that we could text her meant a lot to me. plus she made things clear, telling me that if I email that she usually doesnt respond to them, but if I text she’ll respond to that. so that makes things clear to me. but the fact she’s willing to let us means a lot to me. im very grateful. i’ve had bad experiences with therapy before, so i wasnt sure about it but now I am. now I am glad I talked and I will do it again in the future.
chance age 13

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

14 thoughts on “This is chance, therapy this past week”

  1. So good that you decided to talk to Eileen, Chance, even though you had bad experiences with therapy previously. And I’m glad that Eileen told you that you can get in touch with her when you need it, hope it will be helpful now if you’ll be having a difficult day on Friday. I hope that working with her will help you to deal with your anger and get rid of at least some of it, it’s awful to feel a lot of it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I can understand that it’s not always particularly pleasant to do therapeutic work and you may not like it, but good that you already see that it helps so hope that it will keep you motivated even if you won’t feel like doing therapy. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m sure it will pay off.

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