Its such a struggle

Night time sucks. It really fucking sucks.

I cant sleep. My mind is racing. My thoughts are a jumbled mess.

I’m switching like crazy. We’re really out of sorts tonight. At least my dog is asleep. Nitro is snoring softly, his snores are calming me a little bit.

I really feel awful. I feel so so low. I just want to burst out crying. I wont though. I cant.

I’m too scared that I wont be able to stop when I start. Maybe I should, maybe it’d be good to release the emotion that’s built up.

My day went ok, I mean mostly it was ok. But the anxiety is overwhelming tonight. My parents are both asleep, I’m the only one in the house whose up.

Maybe I can sleep soon. I hope I can.

Depression, and sadness feel so awful, they just totally suck, and I don’t want to feel if this is the way I feel. Its going on for days now, this horrible cycle of emotional overwhelm. I cant stand it.

If anyone is around could use a hug or some support.

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

8 thoughts on “Its such a struggle”

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