therapy today was intense. we discussed my dad and his alcohol addiction. that was hard. its something we hadnt really touched on before. i rarely bring it up to anyone. and i’d not really spoken to eileen about it. so i felt glad that i could. for those that dont know, my dad is an alcoholic. he still drinks now. he drinks almost every day. he’s not violent, but he is very controlling, and very obsessive, wired and always thinks he needs to be right. he doesnt listen to reason, or in fact listen to anyone when he is drinking. its his way or no way. today we talked about how argumentative liz can be with him. liz doesnt get along with him. she cant stand him in fact. he sets her off. she gets angry, their personalities clash. eileen tried to advise her today. she tried to tell her that you cant reason with an alcoholic. they blame everyone else. there is no reasoning with them. eileen was saying how we need to look after our own self care. we need to take care of our own mental health. she advised us that we have a choice. we can react, or we can change our responses. she encouraged us to put a reminder into our phone, that we can look at while we’re at our parents house. its stressful at our parents house when he’s drinking. our mom avoids him. we do too for the most part. we got in the bedroom and go on our laptop. we dont talk to him unless we have to. because talking only leads to him yelling, or arguing with us. eileen told us to put the reminder in our phone that we have a choice, and set it up so we can see it every hour. so we’re going to do that. she said a lot today about addicts. about addiction and the patterns of what goes on for both the addict and for us the person living with it. we talked about codependency. she offered up the names of some books i can get and i am going to get one or two and read them. it was a good conversation. even if it was difficult to talk about. im sure we’re not done with it by a long shot. we didnt really resolve any of it, other than to set up the reminders in our phone about choices. and even that, even the fact that we have choices. that goes right over our head. its like we dont see it. because for all these years our choices were taken from us. we never had a choice in how to respond or react. so now that we do, that seems odd to us. like its someone else’s life, not ours. anyway. we’ll do what she suggested and see what happens. i came home after therapy, and went in to work. then came home after work, ate and went for a rest. didnt really sleep though. im a little wound up. still reflecting on todays session. doubt i’ll sleep tonight. we’ll see. bringing up his addiction always effects us all a lot. living with an addict or having one in your life is so so hard. he’s not going to change now though. so we’ll have to try to change our responses. anyway. it was a good therapy session.