icky feelings

im havin bad memrees
no like them
no like remebering
bad bad peple do bad things to me
it hurts in my tummy
to remember
always at nite time i am rembering
i no like the nite time ether
scary scardy time
want stay up all nite
no go sleep
to skard
lexi age 6

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

20 thoughts on “icky feelings”

  1. Yeah – I wake up with so scared tummy too. It’s from the DID and CPTSD – and the bad people and the bad things.
    Lately I’ve been turning on my laptop and sending an email to my T, Betsy. She won’t see it till the morning, but this has kept me from throwing up, so that’s good.
    I just had an idea.
    When I wake up with scared tummy, I’ll imagine you sending me care.
    When you wake up with scared tummy, would you like to try imagining me and my Parts sending you good care?
    Gosh, just asking these makes me feel throwing up feeling.
    I think Carol Anne and her Parts will send me good care for this. Thank you. TS

    Like

    1. Of course I will send you good vibes ! I do understand what it feels like. Yuck! I’ve been living with these type of feelings since I was about 6!!! There’s a long story there also but I’ll leave that for another day. But I have been a walking billboard for panic attacks. It’s just awful. It lead me to some really ugly places. I will think of you and send some good vibes to you. I truly wish you some relief. I just turned 53 on Friday. I can’t believe I’m that age. I mean it seems like I’m still in my 30’s. It’s such a strange feeling because I accomplished nothing I wanted to because I couldn’t !!! Yet I still have $65,000 in student loans but no degree yet. My panic attacks sent me running out of class then I would withdraw. Nice.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Lexi, sorry that I am late 😙. Do you sometimes do something creative with your bad memories? Like drawing your mood or think up a story where you imprison the bad people. I do that sometimes. It doesn’t always make a difference directly but have changed my bad memories in the longterm.🌻 Maybe someone older in your system could help you with it? ♥️😙🙋‍♀️🐝🌻

    Like

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