Sadness creeps in

hhihihii every body
it me emily
how are you all?
im sad tonight
march and april are not good months for me
easter is always a hard time of the year for me
and thats coming up soon
plus its our birthday on easter weekend too
i dont like our birthday
there are too many bad memories from our past
it makes me feel sad
tonight i feel so sad
i’ve been crying a lot
just feel so hopeless
depressed and so down and just an intense sadness
i wish i didnt have to feel so much responsibility
i feel like i should watch out for the kids inside with me
even though carol anne said no
she said the grown ups will do that
so why do i still feel so responsible for them?
sometimes i just want to be 12
i just want to do 12 year old things
i’ve been trying a little
eileen said i shouldnt worry about adult things
but i do anyway
i cant help worrying
im mostly sad now because of remembering things that happened to me at easter time
a lot of bad stuff happened around that time
i dont like to remember
i hope i can sleep tonight
butterfly hugs
love
emily

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

22 thoughts on “Sadness creeps in”

  1. I’m sorry it’s such a hard time for you, Emily. I hope this year it won’t be too rough with memories. Please try to remember that although it’s the same time of the year, it’s a different time and now you’re safe and no one can harm you. I hope you can do some nice things this weekend and not have to worry all the time.

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