Is suicide a sin? or selfish? Hell nooo!

why is it that so many people think suicide is so wrong? and selfish?? almost every night/day i read shit on the internet about suicide as one method to keep me staying alive. i dont know why, but it seems to be working (along with Nitro)). i have even read about people who blew their heads off. not too pretty. perhaps knowing that i would crap my pants and lose most of my bodily control is enough to temporarily prevent me from doing the act. although, if i killed myself in the woods, no-one would find all the fluids. what blows my mind is that helpers responding to comments or posts or whatever..often state that (a) suicide is a sin and (b) suicide is selfish. SIN?? would killing myself be anymore of a sin than some of the other things i have been forced or had to do to survive? Seriously?
isnt sex a sin? whether forcefully fucked or fun fucking sin. if that counts i was sinning as a young child who didnt even know what it meant.
isnt treating your body poorly a sin? my drinking, drugging, self-harming all sin.
isnt not honoring the people who were caring for you a sin? i guess that includes all the times i told anyone of them to fuck off too sin.
isnt lieing and stealing sins?
and apparently using gods name badly is a sin too. so if i am going to blow my head off, i better not say oh god before i pull the trigger. sin.
you get my point?
I have even read that suicide would be considered the ultimate sin because you cant ask for forgiveness. if i ask for forgiveness before i pull the trigger, does that count?
. i am not a religious person, but crap, if there is a higher being and if he/she is condemning people because they kill themselves, thats pretty mean. do you have ANY fucking idea the amount of pain necessary needed to hold a gun in your mouth or stand on a bridge or stick a handful of pills in your throat?
i think this higher being that doesnt forgive has some role in the pain people are placed in. dont you? .. and then not to forgive when a person ends the painmakes no sense to me. some of us simply do not heal and the pain may ebb and flow, but it is always FUCKING THERE
most people kill themselves because they are in pain and see themselves as a burden on society and especially their loved ones. because we are in so much pain, we see ourselves as constantly bothering those around us. we are constantly fucked up, constantly fucking up, and we know people get tired. dont you think we know that? killing ourselves helps you out.
People who tell suicidal people that they are being selfish are being selfish themselves. why are you saying that? reality are just trying to protect yourself from the impact and having to deal with the feelings that a suicide would bring. how selfish is that = dont kill yourself because i will grieve and have feelings.
some of us truly have no one. if i disappeared and my body was never found because i blew my head off in a desolate park. a couple people might wonder what happened to me, but they would move on thinking i moved on too. many of you reading my blog can not understand the depth of emotional pain i live with. Eileen cant. dr barry cant. My parents cant. no-one can. my entire world has been altered by my life experiences and it is foolish to believe that the longer i live, the greater likelihood that my pain will disappear. it may subside, but it will always be there. i was damaged, broken down, and thrust into 18 years that changed me.
i am broken beyond full repair.
who was i and who might i have been if i had an ounce of normalacy growing up?
i will NEVER fucking know.
In a defeatest voice, they all won, and I have to figure out how to deal with last place before throwing in the towel for good.
Suicide isnt about sin and it is not about being selfish. It is about pain, and in a fucked up way it is about survival.


Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

28 thoughts on “Is suicide a sin? or selfish? Hell nooo!”

  1. The thing that makes suicide a selfish act is because the one who is committing suicide-whether it is due to their pain, or their need to be in control-has only a thought for themselves and no thought or care to how their suicide will affect those they leave behind. xxx


    1. I think it’s incredibly selfish of anyone to think someone should live just to keep them happy. They’re not living with the pain of the person suffering, and to be called selfish for wanting to end your pain shows the stigma and ignorance that still shrouds suicide. No wonder people don’t go to others, as we encourage them to do! People don’t commit suicide JUST to be in control – there is massive pain there. Suicide actually takes a lot of courage, and people who are in that sort of pain need support, not to viewed as selfish or controlling!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My brother committed suicide and though I understand he was in pain and just wanted that pain to end, it feels selfish to those left behind. People did care and did want to help him but he wouldn’t accept the help


  3. I can understand it very well why those close to a person who has committed suicide may find it selfish, but I fully agree with you that it isn’t. It definitely isn’t and it is much more selfish to think that suicide is an act of selfishness and to say to a suicidal person to not kill themselves because of those who will be left, at the same time not giving them any concrete support. It’s completely not about being selfish or unselfish. As you say, it’s purely about pain and all that we can no longer live with. As for suicide being a sin, yeah, theoretically it is, because life is something we get from God as a gift that we should hold precious, but God is not some cruel monster punishing everyone according to their sins. God is merciful and he treats everyone of us fairly, and according to our individual life history, he knows us, our limitations, our pains and our strengths, everything about us. And He is forgiving. Suicide is not just your whim, so if you decide it, usually, if not always, there is a deep, painful reason behind your decision. And I’m just more than sure that God understands it. I have an awful impression that suicide is much more a sinful and despicable thing in our egocentric, narrow-minded world’s eyes, than God’s. God may want you to expiate it in the afterlife, but will never leave you all alone to struggle with things on your own, and will never condemn you just because you had too much pain in your life with which you couldn’t deal anymore, and won’t act like your mental illness is your fault. Hugs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I often view the people spewing that it is selfish are indeed the ones who are selfish. THEY want you to stay. They don’t think about the pain we hold inside and live with everyday. The only people that truly understand why people die by suicide is the people that live in constant pain physically or mentally or both! We are just looking for a release. We are just looking for a way to end the pain. We just want it to stop because it is unbearable. I get it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well put. There are two takes on sin in Christianity. #1 is based on the old testament law where u followed all 600 some laws or went to hell. There is ways to get forgiveness in that system. #2 Jesus came and saves us from all sin. So if we accept him as our Savior we are forgiven of all sin. Ideally, because we are loved by Him we strive to do what is right and good in the world. You are right. I can’t feel ur pain exactly but I suffered CSA starting around 2yo we think and later I was raped as an adult. Because of my dissociative disorder, I blocked the rape for 3 yrs. It was too late for anything to be done about it. I might even have DID. I had a psychologist diagnose me with DID but 7 yrs later when I was diagnosed with Bipolar he put down dissociative disorder NOS which basically means I need further eval. My closest inner peeps names are GMA, Patty, Susan, Susie,Baby, and Me I avoided therapy cuz I had already spent a long time dealing with the pain of abuse. So I avoid it until I have no choice. I’m so sorry you are in pain right now. And I am so glad u are talking about it. Remember I’m a nurse. I had more than one patient that shot themselves in the head only to have their faces disfigured and have brain damage. Thats why I would never try to kill myself with a gun. Not that one is even available to me. You can DM if u wanna talk. Brandy @Wellmentally

    Liked by 1 person

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