Too anxious to go to therapy

We never got to therapy this morning. I woke up in a very unsettled place. I got a few hours of sleep but not a lot of it. So I woke up feeling off. Feeling like shit. Feeling unstable and very full of anxiety.

So we didn’t go. I texted Eileen to tell her I wasn’t coming in. And she hasn’t texted me back. Now my irrational brain says she’s mad I didn’t come in. She’s mad at me for not showing up.

I know there’s probably another reason why she hasn’t texted me back, but I’m afraid to text again or email her to ask her what happened and why she hasn’t responded to me. Normally she would, so its not like she usually doesn’t.

I wish I hadn’t been so anxious. I really needed my session today. Especially since we don’t have one next week as Eileen is in the UK on training. Damn anxiety anyway. I bloody hate it.

If I don’t hear anything from her by tonight I’ll send an email. Maybe she just got busy and thought she was after responding to my message already.

Who knows. All I know right now is I am feeling very very on edge. Anxious and unsettled and not ok.

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

10 thoughts on “Too anxious to go to therapy”

  1. ((((HUGS)))) So Sorry you are feeling so anxious!! Remember to breath and do something to take care of you today 💜 Based on your past experiences w Eileen I am sure she understands and will most likely email or text later when she gets a chance.

    Liked by 2 people

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