We never got to therapy this morning. I woke up in a very unsettled place. I got a few hours of sleep but not a lot of it. So I woke up feeling off. Feeling like shit. Feeling unstable and very full of anxiety.
So we didn’t go. I texted Eileen to tell her I wasn’t coming in. And she hasn’t texted me back. Now my irrational brain says she’s mad I didn’t come in. She’s mad at me for not showing up.
I know there’s probably another reason why she hasn’t texted me back, but I’m afraid to text again or email her to ask her what happened and why she hasn’t responded to me. Normally she would, so its not like she usually doesn’t.
I wish I hadn’t been so anxious. I really needed my session today. Especially since we don’t have one next week as Eileen is in the UK on training. Damn anxiety anyway. I bloody hate it.
If I don’t hear anything from her by tonight I’ll send an email. Maybe she just got busy and thought she was after responding to my message already.
Who knows. All I know right now is I am feeling very very on edge. Anxious and unsettled and not ok.