I am feeling really off today. my moods so low. so i went to mom and dads. i rang mom and i told her i felt off. i asked her if it would be ok if I came over. Of course she said yes that I should come over. So I did. I just feel so down. I’m struggling with memories, and intense emotions. The memories are awful. Its so hard to feel them come up. I had to ring amanda who is my PA and tell her I wouldnt be able to do our hours tomorrow. She was ok with that though. Because I didnt give her enough notice, she will still get payed. You had to give 24 hours notice or more before the PA doesnt get payed. I dont really feel up to doing anything this evening, so I think I’ll just chill out. Read and stuff. Just want to try to get through the rest of tonight. Sarah the CPN rang today also. Dr. barry had spoken to her and she’s going to ring me the weeks that I dont see dr. barry. So I’ll see dr. barry one week and on the alternative week Sarah will phone me. We had a good chat. She’s really nice and very understanding. She said I can do this I can get through the month and I will be ok, I just have to keep reminding myself that this month is half over now and I can make it through it. She is right, I know I can. I just do need to keep saying that to myself and hopefully that will help me get through it.