JUST DONT FEEL OK

ITS LIZ. IM FEELING AWFUL. I REALLY JUST FEEL LIKE SHIT RIGHT NOW. I DONT KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM, OTHER THAN I HAVE BEEN REALLY STRUGGLING NOW FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS, TIME OF YEAR, YEAH, WE KNOW IT IS, YA’LL KNOW THAT RIGHT? SORRY TO KEEP GOING ON AND ON. BUT IM JUST DROWNING HERE. DROWNING IN GRIEF, MEMORIES, SHITTY FEELINGS, ETC. IT SUCKS. I JUST WANT A BREAK, WHY CANT I CATCH A BREAK? I NEED A BREAK GUYS! I REALLY REALLY DO! I AM STRUGGLING HERE TO KEEP AFLOAT! THINGS ARE EFFECTING ME MORE THAN I WANT TO ADMIT! I AM NOT COPING! I AM JUST NOT DOING WELL AT ALL! THANK GOD WE’LL HAVE THERAPY ON MONDAY! I NEED IT! I EMAILED EILEEN A FEW TIMES. SO SHE KNOWS HOW THINGS HAVE BEEN FOR ME. I JUST CANT WAIT TO GO TO THERAPY THIS NEXT WEEK! THE SESSION SHOULD BE INTENSE! I’M GUESSING IT WILL BE.
LIZ

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

27 thoughts on “JUST DONT FEEL OK”

  1. I think you are dealing very well. You write here and you contacted Eileen. That’s pretty good self care. Sending you a hug. I’m off to bed but will check in tomorrow. You can do this and you will get your break!

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      1. Good Morning Liz. How are you doing? Hope you got some sleep. I got a little. Woke up continuously and was dreaming funny things. Need to bake some bread and then answer some comments. Sending you a hug.

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      2. Brilliant xxx we had breakfast and we’re at the beach with the dog. Now writing some posts. Hope you have a quiet day. Don’t worry about answering if you feel like resting. I understand πŸ˜šπŸπŸ™‹

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  2. you have been doing great. you cook amazing, you lost weight, you write really well. Eileen has been helping greatly so its going to be well.
    yes its weird time of year everyone around here is depressed. I am here if u wanna talk. you have been successful with everything.
    I am here

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  3. Liz, so sorry things aren’t going well for you, though, if I was to say anything about it, you seem so strong and coping so well despite all the distress you’re guys having right now. Is there anyone inside who would be capable of taking over all or some of what you’re responsible for, so that you could rest for a while? If it’s possible, that would be a good idea. Tight hugs. πŸ™‚ Sleep well.

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  4. Liz, it sounds like you also need to do what I suggested that Carol Anne do, let some of the grownup insiders who are feeling okay front for a while. I’m sure it’s especially hard for you since you’re in the dark system, so tell some of the grownups to step up and give you a break for a while. I suggested to Carol Anne that you delegate some of the being out time to the others. You can tell them what they need to know. This is just eh first part of October so it’s not likely to get better, so you’ll need to plan ahead so you don’t get overwhelmed. xxx

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