She gets us

ITS LIZ. I HAD AN INTENSIVE THERAPY SESSION YESTERDAY. ME AND EILEEN TALKED A LOT ABOUT ABUSE AND TRAUMA AND THE DARKS, AND WHY THE DARKS ACT IN THE WAYS THAT THEY DO. WE TALKED ABOUT THE PEOPLE FROM THE CULT CONTACTING US. AND HOW THE DARKS TRY TO CONTACT THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE LOYAL. THEY THINK ITS WHAT THEY SHOULD DO, AND IF THEY DONT, THEY FEEL THEY’RE BREAKING RULES, OR GOING AGAINST WHAT WE WERE TAUGHT. EVEN WHEN THEY ARE BEING HURT. EVEN WHEN THE ABUSERS HURT OTHERS IN THE SYSTEM AND THEY CAN SEE THAT. SOME DARKS ALL THEIR JOB IS TO DO IS CONTACT ABUSERS, THEY DONT ACTUALLY STICK AROUND TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN AFTER THATS DONE. EILEEN WAS VERY SUPPORTIVE. SHE REALLY GOT IT. ALSO WE TALKED ABOUT FEELINGS, THAT WAS HARD. I TOLD HER I WASNT FEELING LIKE I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO DESCRIBE MY FEELINGS TO HER JUST THEN AT THAT MOMENT. SHE AND I DID A BIT OF WORK ON THAT. AND EVENTUALLY I WAS ABLE TO DESCRIBE THEM WITH HER HELP. SHE ASKED EMILYS DARKS IF THEY’D LIKE TO MEET THE DARKS IN MY SYSTEM, EMILYS INSIDERS ARE SEPARATE FROM THE REST OF US, AND KEEP THEMSELVES THAT WAY MOSTLY. SHE ASKED IF THEY’D LIKE TO BE INTRODUCED TO US. THEY WERENT UP FOR IT THOUGH. I THINK THEY FEEL THREATENED OR SOMETHING. SO WE DIDNT GO AHEAD AND DO THAT. INSTEAD EMILY HAD A LITTLE BIT OF TIME. WE TALKED A LOT THOUGH. AND IT WAS REALLY HELPFUL TO ME TO BE ABLE TO OPENLY DISCUSS THINGS. I FELT LIKE I MADE A TON OF PROGRESS AND I FEEL NOW THAT EILEEN KNOWS MORE ABOUT US THAN SHE ALREADY DID. SHE NOW KNOWS MORE ABOUT OUR STRUCTURE AND SET UP. HOPING THEN SHE CAN BETTER HELP US WHEN SHE HAS THAT INFO. WE ALSO TALKED A LITTLE BIT AROUND OUR RELATIONSHIP, THE THERAPUTIC RELATIONSHIP. SHE WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE THE DARKS ARE SEEING HER TOO AS SOME SORTA THREAT, I AGREED YES THAT MAYBE THEY ARE. SOME OF THEM DONT LIKE THERAPY OR THERAPISTS AND FEEL ITS A BUNCH OF CRAP AND WHY SHOULD WE EVEN BE GOING AT ALL? BUT OVERALL A GOOD SESSION.
LIZ

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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