I’d like to fly away, poem from emily

i’d like to leave my body
and quickly fly away
i’d like to be thinner
what more can i say

i’d like to shed the pounds
that hold me to the ground
i’d float and fly to someplace far
and never again be found

if only weight was as simple
as counting down from ten
then i would do it in a heartbeat
i would be quite thin

the stress and struggle i go through
i can’t accept my own body size
i don’t think the more pounds you have
the more you win the prize

i’d like to fly up to heaven
and ask our maker why
but i guess to do that
i’d really have to die

but i want an answer true
why do i have to be this way
a thin girl trapped in a fat body
and i seem to be here to stay

what did i do in a former life
did i make fun of the fat
now i’m doomed to live this life
i suppose that is that

from a childhood of malnourishment
to an over 200 pound adult now
something went wrong somewhere
what was it and how

i’d like to fly away
the weight lifted off of me
i want to sprout wings
if only i had the key

i struggle daily with this burden
it’s too hard to look at food
i can’t put it in my face
i’m just not in the mood

i know its not going to make me thin
i don’t know why i try
i only know that it never works
and just makes me want to cry

how come i can’t be normal
average is all i’m asking for
i’m pleading at the gates
just average, no more

i’d settle for 10 stone
even though 9 would be fine
either number seems out of reach
neither can be mine

i’d like to fly away sometime
be lifted to the sky above
i’d like to discover one little thing
that thing is self love

Emily, age 12

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

20 thoughts on “I’d like to fly away, poem from emily”

  1. Self-love is so important yet so difficult to achieve. I related to this post because after three years on anti-psychotics, I have gained 70 pounds. I miss the old me so much, but I am really trying to love the me that I am and I am trying to lose weight at the same time. I could especially relate to the line, “from a childhood of malnourishment/ to an over 200 pound adult now.” That really hit home.

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  2. Very good, Emily! xxx I don’t know what it’d be like to be in the body you’re in, but I did go to school with a 12-year-old who _did weigh 200 pounds. She came from a family where everyone was overweight. I think you’ll have to appreciate yourself as uniquely you-a bright, smart 12-year-old-who has to share a grownup body with others. You are very much loved, dear.

    Like

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