FROM WILLOW, THERAPY TALK

SO THERAPY FOR ME TODAY WAS HARD. I CAME OUT AND ME AND EILEEN TALKED. I WAS SO NERVOUS, BECAUSE I HAD TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT. THAT IS, WE GOT AN EMAIL THE OTHER DAY FROM A PAST ABUSER. THEY WANTED US TO GO TO A RITUAL MEETING THIS COMING FRIDAY, ITS A RITUAL HOLIDAY THIS WEEK AND WE ALWAYS GET CONTACTED AROUND HOLIDAY TIMES. SO I TOLD EILEEN THAT WE’D BEEN CONTACTED. THAT LED TO A VERY HARD CONVERSATION BETWEEN US ABOUT THE DARKS AND WHY IT IS THAT THEY FEEL THEY NEED TO RESPOND TO THE ABUSERS CONTACTING US. I WAS FINDING IT VERY DIFFICULT TO TALK SO EILEEN GAVE ME A SLINKY TO HOLD, IT IS KINDA COOL, YOU CAN MAKE IT GO UP AND DOWN, ITS STRETCHY, I HELD THAT, AND I PLAYED WITH IT AND THEN THE WORDS CAME OUT EASIER. ITS JUST EASIER TO TALK WHEN MY HANDS ARE BUSY DOING SOMETHING. SO WE TALKED A LOT. I TOLD EILEEN THAT WE’D PUT A PLAN IN PLACE, LIZ AND CAROL ANNE ARE WATCHING ALL INCOMING EMAIL, AND OUT GOING EMAIL, AND ON FRIDAY WE’LL GO VOLUNTEERING IN THE AFTERNOON AND THEN WE ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO OUR MOM AND DADS FOR THE WEEKEND. WE DIDNT RESPOND TO THE ABUSERS EMAIL EITHER. SOME OF THE DARKS WANTED TO BUT WE WERE ABLE TO RESIST THE URGE. THANK GOD. ALL I EVER REMEMBER FROM BEFORE IS GOING THERE AND GETTING HURT, WHAT THE ABUSERS WOULD DO IS GET ONE OF THE DARKS TO GO THERE AND MEET THEM, AND THEN GET ANOTHER INSIDER MOSTLY IT WOULD BE A KID, TO COME OUT AND THEN THEY’D HURT SAID KID. SO IT WAS ALWAYS POINTLESS FOR US TO GO, THEY WERENT INTERESTED IN THE DARKS, ONLY TO CORRESPOND WITH THEM AND GET THEM TO GET US THERE. AFTER THAT THEY DIDNT CARE. EILEEN ASKED ME TODAY IF THE DARKS WHO BELIEVED THAT THEY DID CARE COULD SEE THAT ACTUALLY THEY DONT. I SAID NO, I DONT THINK THEY CAN. I THINK GIVEN HALF A CHANCE THEY’D STILL GO, AS THEY ARE PROGRAMMED TO DO THAT. SHE VALIDATED THEM AND SAID SHE CAN UNDERSTAND THEIR PAIN AND FRUSTRATION. SHE SAID WHEN THEY ARE READY TO TALK THAT SHE’LL BE THERE TO TALK TO THEM. SHE SAID SHE’D LOVE TO TALK TO THEM. I SAID I THINK THEY’LL BE READY SOON. THEY SEEM MORE AND MORE INTERESTED IN THERAPY AND IN WHAT WE’RE DOING. SO I HOPE THEY’LL COME OUT TO TALK TO HER SOON. IN THE MEANTIME WE JUST HAVE TO BE VIGILENT AND WATCH THINGS CLOSELY. THE LAST THING WE WANT IS FOR ANY OF US TO BE HURT.
WILLOW

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “FROM WILLOW, THERAPY TALK”

  1. I am sooo proud of you Willow for coming out and laying things on the line. I hope that one day you will know which dark is always making sure that passed abusers know how to contact you. Somebody must be still doing it, so if that person can be convinced that making sure abusers can find you is a very bad thing, then maybe the communication can stop altogether. I’m glad that Carol Anne and Liz are being vigilant so as to protect all of you, especially the littles who are the ones those kinds of people are most interested in anyway. Keep up the good work! I will be praying for you all. xxx

    Like

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