UNSTABLE TONIGHT

AM FEELING SO UNSTABLE. MEMORIES, MEMORIES. THEY BLOODY SUCK. I FEEL SO UNSAFE. JUST AWFUL. I CANT GET THE FEELINGS OUT OF MY HEAD.
WANT TO CURL UP AND FADE AWAY. I JUST WANT AN END TO THIS, AN END, ANY END, SEEMS SO APPEALING.
HOT RAGE BUBBLES INSIDE. ANGER SWELLS UP. I FEEL JUST, SO SO EMOTIONAL.
WISH I KNEW WHY. WISH I KNEW WHAT TO DO TO QUENCH IT. WISHING, WISHING, BUT NOTHING. IM JUST LEFT FEELING THIS CONCOCTION OF EMOTIONS.
SIGH. BLOODY SUCKS. NOT HAPPY, NOT ONE BIT.
LIZ

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Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

50 thoughts on “UNSTABLE TONIGHT”

  1. Hugs. xxx Who else in there is having those memories? I know it could be just you, but it seems to not be just you, but some other insider who can’t get round how they are feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Liz, it often helped me to get creative in some way to express those sort of feelings. I draw or write poetry. Or a short story. Or just a journal entry where I let it out without restrictions. As it is a diary it feels save to do so. No one will ever read it. I feel it helps to do something with them and not trying to figure out why I feel that way or why memories are tormenting me. That’s just what they do. I might as well do something positive with them. The worst is over you know. The past is in the past even though it never feels like it for trauma survivors. But you are save now. Its just a process to accept that fact. Not sure if this helps at all but know I’ll send a prayer and healing energy!

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      1. I DOUBT IT. IT FEELS LIKE ITS GOING TO BE A LONG NIGHT. WITH LITTLE TO NO SLEEP HAD. I DID SLEEP FOR A WHILE THIS AFTERNOON THOUGH SO THATS SOMETHING. THANKS EMILIA. XO

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      1. It will go well. Meanwhile I will find a few jokes. I am here only. If u wanna talk let me know.

        Bad memories are part of life but they have passed.. they dont deserve a place in your present. Kick those bitches out of your mind you can do this. You are way stronger than bad memories!

        And we love you ok

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      1. I’m glad you’re feeling better, liz. I went to bed early too, maybe 10 pm, and slept right away for most of the night til maybe 10 a.m. I guess we all just needed it.

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  3. And this..

    A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

    The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

    Ahahah 😂

    Like

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