I might be Bipolar?

Dr. barry said we may have bipolar. She is going to evaluate us some more To see where we are at and what type it may be.
I am scared. I have had many friends with bipolar, but what if I cant manage? What if I fuck up?
Hell I’m already fucking up. My moods very off lately. Up and down and all around. Rapid cycling. So its looking like that may be the type I have.
I have been impulsive in the past. Shopping a lot. Drinking a lot. Self harming a lot. I’ve had psychosis in the past, still have it to a degree its just under control now.
I am just really, really afraid.
I know I need to talk more to dr barry about this. And I will. She did say that one med I take could be keeping the more disruptive symptoms at bay. I take depokate. Mainly for seizures, but its also for my mood.
So we shall see where this leads. For now I dont know where its going.
How did you feel when you got your bipolar diagnosis? were you scared?

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

2 thoughts on “I might be Bipolar?”

  1. I was a bit scared when I was Dx. My son had been Dx. a year before, so I wasn’t ignorant about it, I knew that treatment usually helped, but I was still a little concerned. One of the professionals at the CMHC (Community Mental Health Center) told me that I just had to remember that I was still the exact same person I’d been all my life, the big difference was that now we knew what had been causing the mood swings, etc. that had bothered me since I was a teenager (I was 39 at that when Dx.), but we now could treat the problem.

    You’ll be the same as you’ve always been, but bipolar treatment will likely make you stronger.

    Liked by 1 person

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