I am waiting with anticipation for this day to be over. I’m really really upset and anxious right now. And very very triggered by this day.
I just want it to end. Please let it end soon. Just over 2 hours to go until its midnight here. God the time is going so slowly.
As darkness falls I get more and more upset. My nightmare begins. I start to remember. I start to remember every bad thing that happened to me in childhood. The rituals. The cult. The meetings they’d take me to. The abuse.
God, oh god, it feels unbearable, remembering.
So I go and make myself a cup of tea. maybe the tea will soothe me. I can hope. I pat nitro. His fur soft underneath my shaking hand. Oh how I love him. He always knows what to do to give me a little encouragement.
I sit and I wait and I drink my tea. And I hope, and look to tomorrow with anticipation that it will be a better day.