I have reservations about therapy this week. I feel it will be a hard session. I’m not prepared.
I try to prepare myself for what may come up. Its been so hard lately.
So many new insiders are coming forward, insiders that have been further back and inside for years.
that’s ok, its good, but its hard.
there is a lot of internal chaos. the system is struggling to stay afloat.
we struggle a lot, but its much harder to hide it now. and I do have to hide it from some people. I cant act unstable with some family members, or friends.
i’m giving it over to Eileen. she will know how to help. I am trusting her to know how fast to go. I am trusting her with all this.
she has proven over and over that she is experienced and knows what to do how to guide us how to help us.
so I know I need to let her do her job, doesn’t stop me from worrying and becoming anxious though.
anxietys a killer. I feel it every single day. I hate having so much anxiety. I feel I am unable to cope with the level of anxiety I have.
just thinking about all this right now. but I need to sleep or try to. so I will get off line and shut down my pc for the night.