hi. its me saffire. so yesterday i had another therapy session. well i didnt have all of our session but i had a lot of it. we talked about me not finding words. and eileen said she could completely get it. that i couldnt talk if i never talked to anyone in years. and if i was struggling to talk that it was ok. she understood. she told me to take my time. and go slow. so thats what i did. and i felt a lot better then about talking to her. she asked me some questions about the darks. and about us losing time. cuz we’ve been losing a lot of time lately. its hard to lose time. things happen when there is time loss. people come out and do things. and we arent aware of it until after the fact. its a very disconcerting thing. it also makes life really difficult. there is only one person in our whole system who doesnt lose time, and thats jade. jade always knows what is going on. which is good i suppose. but anyway. eileen asked me if i’d experienced any good things this past week. and i was able to tell her that liz and me had a lot of fun at the family bbq last sunday. and when we went to the beach on monday with our mom i came out and got to experience some of that too. it was nice. i really enjoyed it and had so much fun. eileen said that was good. she encouraged me to build on that. to keep working on being in the present and experiencing new things. i said i would try. i want to try. i want to not be stuck in the past. that isnt any fun. she said we’d pull back from working on trauma stuff for now. and work on managing feelings and emotions so that the darks wouldnt have to keep shoving things down and coming out at inappropriate times. they were spooked, a lot of the darks were. they were afraid and insecure and very scared of talking in therapy. eileen told us not to worry. she said she respects each person and where they’re at. and she has no hidden agenda. and she will wait for them to be ready to talk to her. that feels good. im glad i talked to her. it felt safe. she makes things feel very contained. very safe.