I miss my therapist tonight

Im feeling a sense of longing tonight. Longing for eileen. I miss her.

I wish I saw her today. She did text me on Friday night, and she said she could fit me in this coming thursday, she doesnt work bank holidays, so thats why we didnt have a session today.

Im glad she can fit me in. I was glad she texted me. But god I miss her tonight.

Why, just when I am feeling good does this happen? I feel needy, and am also feeling a mix of apathy, agitation, and longing to cuddle with her too.

I want to text her. I probably wont. Im trying to hold off on doing that.

Its hard, though. Really, really hard.

I want to share all about my great day at the beach with her. It was such a normal day. A lovely normal and very relaxed day and I want to share it with her. But then I think, does she really want to know?

Im sure she was busy today with her own plans, or her family, her own life. Why should mine matter to her?

Right now the young parts are feeling very needy. And truthfully so am I.

I need a hug from her. A good long cuddle. I need reassurance. I need an its going to be ok, your ok.

Ill have to wait until thursday though to get any of that. Sigh.

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Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

10 thoughts on “I miss my therapist tonight”

  1. I’m so sorry you feel this way tonight. That longing is the worst. Will you get to tell her about your lovely normal day on Thursday? Sometimes it helps me hold off texting if I imagine how nice it will be to share something nice with K live in the room. Sending hugs, it’s so tough xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, dear, no matter how good you might be feeling, there is always an insider that is going to not feel like you do and when it comes down to Eileen, I know that Allie always misses her, so you’ll always have somebody missing her no matter how short or long the times between sessions are. I’m glad you had a wonderful time on the beach, though. I hope you can hang on to the good feelings despite what else is going on in the system, especially as there may be those who would rather you _didn’t feel good. Misery loves company as they say. xxx


  3. I’m sorry you’re missing her so terribly. I hope you’ll be able to talk to her about your lovely day yesterday on THursday, I’ sure she’ll love to hear about it. 🙂 Hugs. 🙂


  4. Oh boy do I know how this feels!! To feel understood and cared for by someone is incredible… but also makes you very fragile and vulnerable between sessions.
    Sending hugs and hoping you can give some hugs and kindness to yourself until you see her


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