dr. barry said today that she wants us to come in next week, instead of in two weeks time. normally our apts are two weeks apart. they have been that way for a while. we used to go weekly. and after christmas we decided to try going bi weekly. its working ok, or i thought it was. but now i’m not so sure. i know our attachment issues kicked up a notch. we still feel insecure when she’s on vacation. or if we dont see her every two weeks. and with the recent suicidal stuff, i’m starting to wonder, if insiders wanted to do stuff to try to get her to see us more often again. today when she said that under the circumstances we should come back next week people were secretly happy. im not going to name names here but there were a good number of insiders who breathed a sigh of relief when she said that. so that makes me wonder? are we really ok seeing her less often? i dont think we are. i think its something we need to talk about with her. she cant really do anything about it, because she isnt able to sustain seeing us weekly, her clinic is too busy, she has a lot of patients. and we are the only one she sees regularly, all of her other patients are lucky to see her once a year, they have to deal with junior doctors, not us though, we always see dr. barry. that was recommended in our report when we were diagnosed with did. i knew our attachment issues were strong on this matter but i didnt think it was this bad. or maybe i did and i just ignored it. i’m starting to think there is a lot that i didnt know about the system. a lot i’m not so aware of. and i’m also learning that some of the older insiders, like willow, like liz, like wendy, insiders who i thought would never attach to either eileen or dr. barry are starting to really attach, and they feel abandoned, left alone, insecure when they dont see them for a while. i know thats not a bad thing. its just really really surprising. im going to make this issue a priority in therapy too. we need to discuss this going forward.