Back to basics

hi. my name is brianna. i am 18.

today in therapy me and eileen talked for the very first time. we talked about a lot of things. mostly to do with our system, the way we are set up, that was hard, since very few people actually know about how we’re set up, about our system structure.

we’ve been experiencing a lot of dissociation over the past couple of months. insiders have become activated, that havent been out in a very long time, and its becoming a huge problem.

mainly these are dark insiders. there is a lot of internal conflict, because some of the darks want to engage in therapy, they want to be seen, validated, etc. while others do not. others are quite happy to try to interfere and sabotage the therapy process.

eileen thinks the best thing for us to do now is go back to basics. try to work on managing our emotions, so that we can gain some stability again.

she said we need to just put the breaks on, not work on memories or do EMDR again for a while, until we can get to grips with the dissociation and with managing feelings.

I happen to agree with her. I think thats for the best.

we did some breath work today. that was hard. she noticed that when we breathe we take very shallow breaths. she did some breathing exercises with us, and then she asked us to set up a committee of 3 of us to do these exercises each day, four times a day for a few minutes.

we have an easter break next week, which is going to be hard for us to get through. we’ll manage but its always hard. at least we’ll see dr. barry during our easter break so that is something at least.

But for right now, its back to basics for us, back to the very start, trying to manage big feelings and emotions. doing work with eileen on theraputic strategies that we can use to do this.

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “Back to basics”

  1. I’m glad you talked to Eileen, Brianna. 🙂 Yes, sometimes takin g a break, and even stepping a bit backwards may be helpful. I think that things like processing memories must always have a big impact on all of you and so it is hard to avoid some turmoil afterwards, plus going back to hard memories can be pretty exhausting, so I think it’s very good you’re focusing on basics for a while now. Hope things will settle down soon and you’ll be less dissociated. 🙂


  2. Hi Brianna. I’m so glad you got a chance to talk with Eileen. That sounds like such an interesting idea to set up committees of 3 for breath practice. A very good counsellor I used to work with said it’s always important to do some breathing practice during not stressful times to get really good at it, and then it’s easier to do during hard times.


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