I WANT TO CUT. IT WILL TAKE MY PAIN AWAY. I AM IN TURMOIL. EMOTIONAL TURMOIL.
I CANT DEAL WITH THIS LEVEL OF PAIN. I FUCKING JUST CANT DO IT.
I NEED RELEASE. I NEED A WAY OUT.
I HAVE A MEANS TO DO IT. I HAVE RAZORS. I HAVE KNIVES. CAN I RESIST? I AM NOT SURE.
AT THIS POINT NOTHING IS WORKING. NOTHING IS SATISFYING MY URGES.
RELIEF IS ALL I CAN THINK OF, SWEET RELIEF.
IS ANYONE AROUND?
LIZ
Therapy Bits 
I’m around. How you doing now?
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A little bit better. Trying to stay busy getting ready to have a shower hoping that will help
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That sounds good. Wish I could shower but I don’t want to wake my sister and her husband. Our bathroom is directly above their bedroom so it could wake them up.
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Yeah I guess that wouldn’t be good. Maybe later? Hope you can shower later if it feels good to you
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Yes it doies
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You’re not sleeping tonight then a?
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Yea, was up till 4. Stupid pain
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I hate that. Your day is all wrong then
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Yea. Just woke up. Had something to eat and am making tea now. Been on a tea kick lately. Don’t seem to want home coffee
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cool. is it breakfast tea or flavoured tea? I’m having a latte for a treat. xx
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My favorite tea is English teatime
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The shower is my safe place. The feeling of the water drops on my bare skin… Somehow helps.
I def get the feeling of this though. I could have wrote it myself. It sucks.
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Yes the shower is one of our safe places to. It’s healing to us. And soothing to
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I’m around. Be safe dear.
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Thank you. Don’t worry, I’m safe. I haven’t done anything stupid
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Good to know. How are you?
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I’m not doing too badly right now. I’m about to get in the shower. How are you?
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I’m doing good. About to have my lunch. Shower will make you fresh and relaxed. Have a happy shower 🙂
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Enjoy your lunch. I’ll be having breakfast once I finish in the shower which is right now LOL
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Heheh.. that’s great! What are you having for breakfast?
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I just had some fruit and some yoghurt, what did you have for lunch?
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It’s the last day of the festival of Navratri here in India. So we had Puri (deep fried indian bread) with sabzi made of potato tomato and peas. Also, had halwa as dessert.
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Oh gosh I love indian food. I am sooo jealous. I love all indian food. never had what you mentioned though before. xx
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LOL..I what all Indian food have you tried?
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forgive the spellings, but…vindalou, chicken corma, jal fressie, the buttered chicken forget the name of it, and tica masala
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All these are non-vegetarian..I couldnot understand vindalou or jal fressie.. Maybe due to the spellings..
Actually I’m a vegetarian. So all those things that I mentioned were veg and typically north Indian.
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Yes I have the spelling wrong probably. I’m a meat person. But yeah I like veg to, but I do love meat. xx
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Hmm.. that’s good.. Where did you try these? At some restaurant or cooked them?
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Oh no I didnt cook them. I’m not that great of a cook lol. I tried them in an indian restaurant. xx
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Ohh..that’s nice.. 🙂
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Here if you need to talk more. I really do get that feeling. And I agree that shower can be helpful. For me shower can be generally helpful if I feel a lot of tension. If it’s possible for you, I’d try to move around as much as possible, it always helps me at least a bit to beat the urge. Hugs. 🙂
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Thanks. I’ll try that. The urge has gone for now at least. xx
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Hugs xo
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THANK YOU FOR THE HUGS ASHLEY XO
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I am here. I hear you. Your pain is fierce.
I am not sure but expressing that pain anyway you can without physically hurting yourself will
In the end be better.
Can you talk to your friends in a vlog?
Would that help? Tell us – use your words to express this current pain. Will singing us a song help you, dear Liz?
I and so many others care about you.
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THANKS LESLIE. I AM OK. I DIDNT CUT. WRITING IT DOWN THAT I FELT THAT WAY HELPED. ALONG WITH ALL OF THE SUPPORT I RECIEVED FROM ALL OF YOU MY DEAR FRIENDS. LIZ
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Brava! That took such courage!!
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THANKS LESLIE! I KNOW, I DO FEEL LIKE IT DID TAKE A LOT OF COURAGE. XOXO LIZ
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Am being late but still sending a hug. That was so courageous of you. Hope you are doing ok now.
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I DONT MIND LATE. LATE IS BETTER THAN NO HUG LOL. THANK YOU. I’M BETTER NOW. NOW ITS PIXIE’S TURN TO BE FEELING BAD, DAMN DEPRESSION ANYWAY. XX
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Definitely! Hope she gets through safely. Sending another hug for all of you who want one
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THANKS FOR THE HUGS. YOUR ALWAYS SO SUPPORTIVE. WE NOTICE AND ARE SO THANKFUL FOR YOU XOXO LIZ
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I am glad you feel like that. Have struggled a lot with my own stuff and had and have help so I just want to give some back. I feel its the only way for all of us to heal. Take good care of yourself
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THANKS, YOU TOO, I LOVE THIS WP COMMUNITY, I’D BE LOST WITHOUT ALL OF YOU XXX LOVE LIZ
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Feelings mutual. Hope you are having a calm day 🌼
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