is i’m lonely. i’m blue. I feel like I could implode. I feel alone. on my own with the memories. and it hurts. it really bloody hurts.
Its a fact that i’m worthless. a fact that i’m a disaster.
a fact that i’m a mess. worthless, and a mess. doesn’t make for very good combo.
not even six AM. and I lie here pondering everything. my childhood, my teen years. my adulthood. pondering the why’s of it all, why was I abused? why do I have did? why do I have a mental illness?
I sit here in fear pondering it all. As I start to fall?
the fact is I’m scared. I’m so aware. Aware and scared.