avoiding the hard stuff in therapy

this weeks been very hard. having no therapy session wasnt good.
but if i am honest, i was happy in a way. why? because i didnt want to face the hard stuff. i wanted to run away and hide from it.
eileen sent me a text on tuesday. she said she’d recieved some emails and did i want to talk. i called her back and we did talk. but she was a little bit upset with us.
she said we are pushing her away. and then sending emails to tell her things after we’ve been distant with her and what is that about?
she challenged me and i was so uncomfortable. i said i didnt expect a response. that i didnt know why we’d sent them really.
she said its like we’re setting her up. because when she gets the distressing emails, what is she to do with them? since we’ve made an arrangement that she doesnt respond to emails outside of session unless its an emergency.
the fact that we werent in session this week, she said she couldnt gage how we were and what was going on for us.
so yeah. we had a frank discussion and she said its very important to talk this through on monday during the session.
I’m nervous. I hate it when we fight. We’re not really fighring but it feels uncomfortable. It feels like she’s mad at us but she said she isnt.

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

12 thoughts on “avoiding the hard stuff in therapy”

  1. I’m sorry it feels hard. With my friend’s system, they always feel like I am mad AT them *when I care about them*. I may get mad because I want them to be well and feel they are doing things that are not helping them, but I am not mad AT THEM. Know what I mean? If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t seem mad that they were not doing as well as they can. maybe this is what e means too.


      1. I think she sounds like she has been helpful and kind to you for a long time, so I expect she will continue to be good to you. I think it’s good when she points out what she sees–I hope it’s helpful to you.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate to not speaking to my therapist over the course of a month last month. It was hard to cover everything that has been going on over the course of the last 2 months. Make sure you keep Monday’s appt., and just air things out… You’ll feel so much better.
    Whatever you do, don’t ruminate over it… If you need someone, I’m here for you, okay?


  3. That’s hard and you will surely have quite a hard session next week, I think, but I’m glad that you realise that if even she seems mad at you, she’s just concerned and cares for you and wants all the best for you. It’s really good she is so honest with you, although I can relate to the fact that it may make you uncomfortable. But I think if you will be honest with her as well, everything must be OK.


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