i hate myself. i feel so fat. fat and disgusting. i want to vomit. i cant help it i just feel so gross. it will get all the badness out of me if i do it. i am black on the inside. why did carol anne let erika eat those cookies earlier? i wish she hadnt. im just obsessing over the amount of calories in them.
emily age 12

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

18 thoughts on “ED THOUGHTS”

  1. Emily, I am so sorry you’re struggling so much lately. Sending you lots of hugs. And please remember, it really doesn’t matter how your body looks like, because inside I am sure you’re beautiful. Sending you Mishhugs as well if you want them. 🙂


  2. I’m sorry you are feeling bad. And really, vomiting doesn’t take badness or blackness out. I think you have beautiful energy like a beautiful light that shines right through you and cleans up any yuckiness that you might think is there. We don’t see yucky. We just see the beautiful light coming through you. Donnalee


  3. aw emily, i’m so sorry. i have struggled with these thoughts from a similar age and still struggle with them now (i’m nearly 19). do your best to remember it’s just a cookie or two. one unhealthy snack is not going to make you gain weight even though it feels that way. 100 calories of cookies is the same as 100 calories of fruit. stay strong emily and others x

    Liked by 1 person

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