today I
thoughts of suicide.
I feel so low. its a far cry from how I felt an hour ago. I hate that my mood dips so suddenly.
it makes me feel so crazy.
why cant I be normal? I hate my mental illness.
I want to scream, scream until I have no air left in my lungs.
Anger overtakes me. Anger at the unfairness of it all.
Right now, I hate my life. I know this thought will be temporary though. I wont hate it forever.
I think I’d be better off dead.
Ok so I cant think that way. I need to try to do something to get that thought out of my head, otherwise I might act on it as I can be very impulsive when I am like this.
Ok, count to three. Breathe deeply. Go and find something to distract me.
Good idea. Thanks for reading.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

54 thoughts on “Entertain”

      1. Want me to share some silly jokes??

        Okay. Here are some minion jokes:

        I start everyday with good attitude and great intentions. But stupid arrive from anywhere.

        If we are not supposed to eat from the fridge in the midnight, why there is a light inside.

        Your favourite food contains least calories when no one is seeing you eating.

        I feel so cheated when someone calls me ‘Normal’, ‘Gorgeous’ and ‘Sweet.’ But I am definitely honest.


      2. Found another one..this one killed me 😆

        A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”
        Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“


      3. allie said to tell you that she loved the minions joke especiall this one. I feel so cheated when someone calls me ‘Normal’, ‘Gorgeous’ and ‘Sweet.’ But I am definitely honest.


      4. Yea. I keep on explaining it.
        Sometimes i feel so stupid to put it in my blog name.
        Imagine me giving a job interview.

        Employer : what do you do?
        Me: i run a blog sir.
        Employer: whats its name??
        Me: i can’t tell you sir it has got an unfortunate name…

        Cant even flaunt it!


      5. A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

        The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”


  1. Hello there. I am sent by the Stoner. I am a member of her special unit. Support wingman and such. I hear we have a trooper that’s down for some reason. So here is what you need to do.

    First. I want you to pull yourself up. I know you can do it. Then, I want you to take some chocolate and stare at the Sun for a while. Fresh air is optional. A lot of liquid is recomendable, maybe some simple exercises are also on the “to do list”.

    Now, I don’t really know you, but I cherish life, so I am here to tell you that your life is worth of cherishing. (that sounded simple enough) If you are Stoner’s friend, you are mine too, you are a member of this community and there are people who like what you write here. Now, I am sure you already knew that. You can write fun stuff to. Summon it, be positive and good things will happen to you. (sounds like a movie quote, but the damn thing actually works)

    Now, second thing. I want you to write about the happiest memory you have, and then I want you to write another one and keep doing that until we all drop on the floor laughing. Hey, you want to get better, you have to act on that and turn this franchise around soldier. You don’t have a happy memory. No problem. Think of one and get your gears going. Soon, you’ll get better. Tried this many times. Works like a charm.

    Third thing…. I forgot the third thing, but you don’t really need one because you’ll get over this like a last year’s snow and make some people happy. Yeah, I want you to ENTERTAIN ME. I believe in you, soldier. Now give me your happiest memory, even if it’s a fictional, from a movie of borrowed from a friend. So you would know, I am waiting.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. There you go. See, there are fun things to do. 😀 Why would you even think about some other stuff that have nothing nice as a product? Freakin’ live life the best way you can and screw other things. That should be your motto. 😀 Take care and really do a fun post. I am eager to see what will you write… Like seriously, I can’t sit still. 😀


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