oh mommy

i am so sad. i really wish i can talk to our bio mom. but i cant. she wont talk to me. she talks to carol anne, but she think it shirley shes talkin to. it makes me so sad. i just wanna be seen. i just want to be able to say hi. maybe hug her. maybe ask her if she loves me. but i cant. my heart is hurting. carol anne says that shes here for us. but i want someone outside. like eileen or dr. barry. if our bio mom cant see me and doesnt want to talk to me, then i need a mommy like eileen or dr. barry. i think i need just one mommy tho not two. its confusing to have two people who act the same like two moms. it makes me confused. that did specialist he said dr. barry was like our dad, and eileen is like our mom. he said if our childhood had been perfect then thats what those two relationships would have been, a mom and a dad figure in our life. and now dr. barry and eileen are replacating that. thats what he said. he said its important for us kids to have one mom figure. and he asked eileen to be it. so maybe she is then. and dr. barrys like our daddy. you know how you dont tell daddys everything, only some stuff. he said eileen is doing the hard therapy work with us. she is healing our past wounds. so that is why she gets to be the mommy in our life. our attachment has to be with her. we can be atached to dr. barry too but it different. it in a different sorta way. i liked the did specialist. he understood kids and littles, and attachment. he got it. he had a lot of good ideas.

Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s