dr. barry wasnt even mad at me. i worried all for nothing. she was kind and understanding. and i love her. i love her now more than i did before.
she said she gets it about the meds. and she ask me do you understand that sometimes we do things and we dont even realise we’re doing them.
she said i am trying to gain control over some things. and in doing that that maybe thats why i wasnt taking the meds right. or eating right. to have control over some stuff in my life.
i think she is right. i just didnt see it in that way.
but when i thought more about it, it fits. i do think i need to control some things, and i cant, which is why i dont eat, or why i find it hard to take the meds or let others take them. i just want to have some control over what goes on in my life.
and most the time i dont.
when she said that today it makes sense now. and why didnt i think of it before.
im so glad i have such an understanding psychiatrist. she said it must be hard to be 12. and that she understands that when your 12 you sometimes do stuff that maybe if i was older and more mature i wouldnt do it.
im just glad she wasnt mad. im glad i was able to tell her about the things that were bothering me. and she listened. and we talked. and now i feel better.