words hurt us

“i dont know why your being assessed”
“there is nothing wrong with you”
“your wasting peoples time and money”
“you are not sikck”
“you must love going to doctors”

all spoken by our dad. words hurt. my heart is empty and heavy. the grief is weighing heavily on my heart tonight.

i wanted mom to go to our assessment on friday. i wanted it so bad. i wanted her to go to support us.

but she said no. a firm no.

“why would i go”

“your being assessed, not me”
“I have no business being there”

“its pointless me going”

nothing about i know its hard so I’ll go to support you. it fucking hurts.


Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

15 thoughts on “words hurt us”

  1. Huge ((((hugs)))) to you honey. It’s very reasonable for you to feel hurt by this. I wish your parents could support you in this. I can’t make it easier for you to deal with, except to say that I hope you will always remember ‘ that this is about their own issues, things that they can’t deal with; it’s not a reflection of your value or worth.

    You need and deserve the assessment. You are not wasting anyone’s time and money. I know I’m just a stranger on the Internet really but I feel so proud of you when I read your posts. You are all making such remarkable progress. You are one incredible woman – of many parts – doing fantastic work and generally being brilliant!
    x x

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It does hurt when parents donโ€™t want to acknowledge and support us. I know. It hurts every time. You are such a good example. You pick yourself up from the hard times and keep learning and practicing. I hate having to make up for my mom and mother myself and I know you do too, but you do a fantastic job. And your progress shows, we all can see it even if you canโ€™t always feel it yourself. Great big hugs, lady!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Im so sorry they don’t “get it”. You are fighting soooo hard for yourself. You deserve the unconditional love and support of your family. You have all of us around the world supporting you and caring for you and cheering you on. I know its not.the same. Be proud of who you are and how much you alone have accomplished and grown! You are soooo much stronger than they are…. And yes I know it.still hurts! Lots of safe cyber hugs coming your way! ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry your parents are not supportive. Words do hurt. And once spoken never go away. Family is complicated. You are strong and resilient. Please remember that and know you have support in other places. Hugs and love to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ow ow ow. That is so mean of your parents. It’s not like they have to *do* anything. Just believe and *be* there. I hope your assessment goes well on Friday and you can keep all of the supports you currently have in place. I will be thinking of you and my fingers and toes will be crossed. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, that were really hurting words, that’s no wonder for me that you feel hurt. I’m sorry that your mum ddn’t go for the assessment with you, that’s a big pity. Sending lots of hugs and please remember that what your dad said wasn’t directly to you, it’s just the effect of his own frustration. Hope the assessment wentt good, looking forward to know how you are doing afterwards. ๐Ÿ™‚


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