Halloween therapy session

well we woke up sick this morning. woke with a cough, sore throat, blocked nose, you name it, we woke with it. felt like canceling therapy because I was angry at eileen as she hadnt answered my text last night. i was just feeling ambivalent and not wanting to go. but i pushed myself saying maybe there was a good reason why she didnt answer. i told myself we needed the session, and it would be good if we went to it. so despite feeling like crud we did go.
when we got there we were 20 minutes early. eileen came to check on us and it turns out she was sick too with the exact same symptoms. she saw that we were shaking and almost crying. i told her it was me liz and immediately she said I got your text and I am sorry I didnt answer you back. I didnt want to make a huge deal out of it so I said it was ok. then she asked me if I’d like a cup of tea or coffee while I waited for our session to start. i said i’d gladly take a cup of coffee and i told her how I like mine, with milk and two sugars. she went inside and after a couple of minutes she brought me a cup of coffee. I thanked her over and over, I thought you are so sweet, and so caring.
When she gave me the coffee she asked me if I was taking anything for my cold and sore throat. I told her no because I didnt have anything in the house to take and I’d only woken up this morning with it. “would you like two paracetamol tagblets”, she said? Like it was nothing out of the ordinary to her to off me meds. I gulped back tears. Yes please, I said. Is it ok if I bring them out when I come to start the session? She asked. Sure, I said.
And she did. I was blown away by her caring. And her generosity and gentleness. I’ve always known her to be caring but this was a whole new level of caring, something I’d never ever experienced before.
the session itself was intense. we met a new part. well she isnt new, but she only comes around on halloween, as her memories all surround that time of year. her name is psycho and she is 15, she wouldnt come out at first but eventually she came out and talked to eileen directly. and eileen persuaded her to change her name. so she did. she changed it to charlotte, or lottie for short. after charlotte in the book charlottes web.
they had a long conversation. they talked about memories both good and bad and used the pulsers and they seemed to help. eileen told her about some of us inside who she didnt know, she’s a dark, she only knows me liz, and amber, and wendy. jade introduced herself to her and so did carol anne.
i’m glad she got a new name. psycho girl is not a nice name for anyone. its good she was able to go with eileens suggestion of changing it.
we came home after therapy and crashed for 2 hours. now we’re awake again and we’ve eaten, and are feeling relatively ok for right now.

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

11 thoughts on “Halloween therapy session”

  1. I’m glad you made it to therapy. I think this cough and sore throat is going around. I don’t have it, but I have friends that do. Charlotte is a pretty name and I hope she begins to see herself as a pretty part and not a psycho part. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Liz, that’s really so sweet of Eileen. I guess it feels like a new kind of connection with her, doesn’t it? 🙂 I hope Charlotte felt better after the session and I hope you’re no longer sick. Hope that now when Halloween is over, things will settle down for you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m really glad you decided to go to session. I know how angry you were that she never texted back. I’m even happier that the session turned out good and that Charlotte got a new, pretty name. She definitely deserves a nice name, so
    I’m glad she changed it. 💟


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