A ramble in the middle of the night

so yeah I’m up and awake. its 5 something in the morning, been up since 4. the rain woke me up. its pouring down outside. i dont mind though because i actually slept good last night. mom rang me and woke me up but i was able to go back to sleep again. she was like why didnt you text me and tell me you were going to bed? honestly, i forgot to do that, and anyway, i didnt mind that she rang me, because I wanted to find out how my uncles wife was, remember i told you she has bone cancer and is dying. mom said she’s going downhill with each day that passes. i havent seen her. its on my mind that i havent gone to the hospital. mom said not to worry that my uncle would understand. i’ll try to get there this weekend one night if i can. i want to see her before she passes. today is my PA kristens last day of working with us. thank goodness we dont have to go anywhere in this horrible weather. we’ll just have breakfast and do housework i guess. i’m so gonna miss kristen. at least we’re on each others fb pages so i’ll still be able to stay in touch with her that way. i texted my old home help to tell her i am starting the ILS course on monday, this home help has been out of work since last february. i think she misunderstood my text because at first she texted congratulating me, and saying she was delighted for me and how good this would be for me. then the next day she texted again asking what hours i’ll have now that i am starting this course. i texted her back saying when i start my home help hours are being cut completely, heard nothing back from her after that. i assume she’s pissed. i cant help that though. i need to live my own life, i cant work around other people and what suits them. as the covering home help said to me yesterday, she didnt think about me when she went out of work for months on end. its not my fault that when she is ready to come back there wont be hours for her from me. the covering home help told them yesterday in the office that I’d be starting the ILS course on monday. no one got back to her which i think is just awful. she has left numerous messages about it and still nobodys gotten back to say ok, that is fine, etc. very unprofessional if you ask me. so thats my little rambly update guys. thanks for reading.
carol anne

Author: Carol Anne

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

2 thoughts on “A ramble in the middle of the night”

  1. I’m sorry it’s the last day you will spend with Kristen. But it’s good that you’ll keep in touch still. Your home help acted really weird, I also think she had to be pissed, but well, pleasing people shouldn’t be your goal in life and I’m glad it isn’t and that you live your own life.


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