so yeah, its not a good morning. we left respite and came back to mom and dads. and now we are spiraling. the system is in chaos. we are really regressed. flitting in and out of really bad dissociative episodes. its horrible. feeling quite detached, numb, foggy, not quite there, depersonalisation at its finest. anxietys through the roof too. probably not helped by the very little sleep we got last night.
will be seeing sarah in an hour. plan on telling her everything. not sure what she’ll say or do. she may refer us to the weekend team. i dont know. part of me thinks that is pointless. i mean what can they really do? besides hospitalise us and i am not being hospitalised. no way. i am starting college next week. i need to just suck it up and be ok.
i should be able to be ok. it shoudnt be that hard. why is it so hard to ground? i am trying literally everything. nothing is working right now. perhaps sarah can help us regroup and ground. i hope so.