drowning

ITS LIZ. AND I AM DROWNING. DROWNING IN PAIN, GRIEF, TRAUMATIC MEMORIES, THIS IS SHIT, A SHIT WAY TO FEEL, A SHIT TIME FOR ME. I AM STRUGGLING, REALLY STRUGGLING. I NEED A FRIEND. I NEED AN ALLY. I NEED THE SUPPORT OF OTHERS WHO GET IT. WHO GET ME. WHO KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO FEEL ALONE AND TO FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD. TO FEEL UNHEARD AND UNLOVED. TO FEEL SAD AND DESPERATE AND CLINGY AND IRRITATED BECAUSE YOU FEEL CLINGY AND WHO CRAVE ATTACHMENT TO YOUR SAFE PERSON IN MY CASE THAT IS MY THERAPIST AND PSYCHIATRIST. I CRAVE CARE FROM THEM. I DESPERATELY WANT TO BE NEAR THEM I DESPERATELY CRAVE THEIR LOVE. I KNOW THEY LOVE ME BUT RIGHT NOW IT DOESNT SEEM TO WANT TO SINK IN I CANT FEEL IT IN MY HEART IN MY THOUGHTS IN MY BODY, I GENUINELY CANT FEEL IT.
FUCK, FUCK, THIS IS CRAP.

Advertisements

Author: manyofus1980

I am a woman in my mid 30's. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

12 thoughts on “drowning”

  1. they love you. You are a good person. I really care for you. You are a good friend. I understand how lonely and alone you can feel when dealing with shitty feelings. It feels the world is ending. It’s not. You’re still here. You are ok. The feelings will pass, they won’t last forever. I’m here. just reach out, email, whatever.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Liz, you are loved. You are loved right now, in this moment. You are loved when you are awake, and when you are asleep. You are loved when you are with the people you treasure, and when you are away from them. That love doesn’t stop. It is floating in the air all around you, like a magic form of oxygen. It enters you every time you take a breath, and it feeds and heals the cells of your body.

    Love, love, love, Q.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s